Thinking back over the past year, I've realized how much I've changed. Pretty much every aspect of my life, except spiritually, I've done a near-180. For example, this time in 2008 I was struggling in a failing relationship, looking toward pursuing a phD in Chemical Engineering anywhere but here, recently highlighted my hair with blonde streaks, working in classes centered around the theory of chemical engineering, starting new research with no known publications, and had no married friends.
Now, two of my best friends are married, I have three publications, I'm not doing research at all, I'm working in classes centered around applications (i.e. labs) of chemical engineering, I have red hair (much to my parents chagrin), I have a job and will not be pursuing a phD, I'll be staying in Minnesota permanently, and I'm in a budding relationship with a new guy.
Just about everything that was important to my future and my life has changed. Amazing what a year can do to someone. And still, with all this change and ups and downs, this past year was better than the one prior. I hope I'm never depressed like that again.
One thing that has not changed, however, is my lack of sleep during the school year.
On one hand, I can't wait to graduate. On the other, I'm not ready. I'm ready to move on with my life, but I don't want all the bad that comes with that. I have a feeling that the next three and a half months are going to fly by me faster than the past three and a half years have. I'm dreading that a little- graduation is happening too soon.
Monday, February 16, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
New Years Anecdotes
It's the start of my last semester, and I'm already looking forward to it ending. Mostly, because the end of this semester brings my first big-girl job, a salary, and summer. Unfortunately, it also brings the end to my extremely casual wardrobe and the beginning of a single lonely life in a large city.
Fortunately for me, a few of my good friends are staying in the area, and hopefully a few more will find jobs in the area as well. Even the single thing might not be completely true anymore. *sigh, happy*
One thing still stands, however. Being in the middle of a complete wardrobe transition sucks. I am down to three pairs of jeans (unheard of!) and now I'm needing to wear nicer pants to school. On the shirts side, I'm somewhere in the middle of lots of black/neutral business-casual tops and U of M t-shirts and sweatshirts. It's an odd combination. I want my jeans back.
School has started pretty well, I'm taking two labs (yes, I'm a masochist I'm aware), a polymers course, two design courses, and a wine tasting class. Fortunately one of the labs is only an A term course and will be done in about 6 weeks, and one of the design courses will then step up as a B term course. So far, they all look interesting but also look like a fair amount of work. Something I'm used to, I guess.
...
I tried sushi for the first time last week, on a date (at least I think it was a date?). The guy I was with seemed fairly knowledgeable about it and I liked it for the most part. Unfortunately, I found out that I'm not a huge fan of crab while attempting to eat my massive California roll. Everything around it was tasty- it was a bit weird getting over the sensation of putting a slab of raw fish in my mouth at first.
This year, I finally made a resolution. I want to get out of Argyle more often. Doesn't matter where, as long as fun or friends or both are involved. So far, I've been keeping up on the promise to myself- going to Becky's for Scrubs/Cribbage night, hanging out at Joe's, and likely wearing out my welcome at Chris' house. Trivia night at the Big 10 is still a weekly thing, and hopefully I'll get the chance to go to more bars across campus and Minneapolis, not just the same ones in stadium village (even though they are fantastic staples).
It's not that I dislike Argyle, it's just that I'm getting tired of going to the same apartment every night and either watching a movie or TV, or playing rockband. As fun as those are, I do feel bad that I'm over there more than I should be.
Fortunately for me, a few of my good friends are staying in the area, and hopefully a few more will find jobs in the area as well. Even the single thing might not be completely true anymore. *sigh, happy*
One thing still stands, however. Being in the middle of a complete wardrobe transition sucks. I am down to three pairs of jeans (unheard of!) and now I'm needing to wear nicer pants to school. On the shirts side, I'm somewhere in the middle of lots of black/neutral business-casual tops and U of M t-shirts and sweatshirts. It's an odd combination. I want my jeans back.
School has started pretty well, I'm taking two labs (yes, I'm a masochist I'm aware), a polymers course, two design courses, and a wine tasting class. Fortunately one of the labs is only an A term course and will be done in about 6 weeks, and one of the design courses will then step up as a B term course. So far, they all look interesting but also look like a fair amount of work. Something I'm used to, I guess.
...
I tried sushi for the first time last week, on a date (at least I think it was a date?). The guy I was with seemed fairly knowledgeable about it and I liked it for the most part. Unfortunately, I found out that I'm not a huge fan of crab while attempting to eat my massive California roll. Everything around it was tasty- it was a bit weird getting over the sensation of putting a slab of raw fish in my mouth at first.
This year, I finally made a resolution. I want to get out of Argyle more often. Doesn't matter where, as long as fun or friends or both are involved. So far, I've been keeping up on the promise to myself- going to Becky's for Scrubs/Cribbage night, hanging out at Joe's, and likely wearing out my welcome at Chris' house. Trivia night at the Big 10 is still a weekly thing, and hopefully I'll get the chance to go to more bars across campus and Minneapolis, not just the same ones in stadium village (even though they are fantastic staples).
It's not that I dislike Argyle, it's just that I'm getting tired of going to the same apartment every night and either watching a movie or TV, or playing rockband. As fun as those are, I do feel bad that I'm over there more than I should be.
Sunday, January 11, 2009
Quintessential College Experience
Recently, a friend and I took a road trip to Arizona to watch the Gophers football team lose to Kansas State in the Insight Bowl.
Having never been though any of the states we went through, with the exceptions of Iowa and Texas, it was most definitely an interesting experience. A rough overview of our trip follows:
- Iowa was boring, we were thrilled to make it to Nebraska and away from the Danish Windmill.
- Lunch with Tyler in Omaha, after that Nebraska sucked and we were happy to drive through most of it in the dark.
- Colorado is not a magical place where the terrain instantly changes to mountains, however we were able to finally see the Rockies in the distance for a couple hours as we drove towards them.
- Stop at Mile High stadium, I unsuccessfully attempt to break into the stadium. We manage to break into the hall of fame.
- Stop at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, thanks to a hint from a friend. Best. Stop. Ever. Absolutely gorgeous, we contemplate going hiking in the Rockies instead of going to the football game.
- Made it south to Albuquerque, drove through potentially beautiful landscape in the dark.
- Driving through New Mexico was also boring, with the exception of the "Indian Village" tourist trap, with reminders every 0.2 miles, and the multitudes of casinos.
- There was snow in Arizona, we weren't sure how that happened until we realized we were at altitudes of about 6000 feet.
- We decide to take a picture with a cactus, we find one however a low lying barbed wire fence stands in our way. I make the brilliant decision to jump the fence.
- Cacti hurt. Also, their needles are hell to take out of human flesh without getting it stuck to other parts of one's body. Cactus: 1, Beth: 0.
- Shortly after taking said picture with cactus, we realize the low lying barbed wire fence ended about 20 feet from where I made friends with the cactus. We walk around the fence.
- The decent into Phoenix was gorgeous, amid palm trees and cacti.
- We check into our hotel, and nearly get lost on our way to battle of the bands. Turns out that about half of the streets are apparently not important enough to be put on maps.
- After battle of the bands, we make it to a brewery on the ASU campus. Two guys buy us drinks all night. Later, we ditch them. girls:1, men:0.
- Bowl game day: we go to the tailgating party and realize not many college age students made it down to Tempe. We go to the game and miss the student section. We do the cheers by ourselves anyway.
- Minnesota loses. Big surprise.
- Block party afterward, we begin our quest to find cute boys to kiss at midnight.
- Styx was awesome, period.
- We wish everyone back home a Happy New Year at 11 PM
- Begin the trip home, again reminded of all the casinos and indian villages.
- Texas can't pronounce Spanish correctly, makes Ruth angry.
- Oklahoma sucks almost as much as Nebraska. Also, Oklahoma City is a dump.
- We are astounded and confused by crossing the "North Canada River" in Oklahoma. Three times.
- The Ozarks were kinda pretty, would be better in spring or fall due to the multitudes of deciduous trees.
- Called Heinzen in Arkansas, didn't reach him until Missouri, for the sole purpose of making fun of the South.
- Drive home found the only precipitation we saw on the entire trip: freezing rain. 7.5 hours into a 6 hour trip, we finally make it back to Minneapolis, hoping to never hear Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Lady GaGa, or Nickelback ever again.
The trip was amazing, and I'm so happy that I went. It was nice to see the interior of the country, and make fun of some of the quirks we found in each state. I can see now why a long road trip is the "quintessential college experience".
Having never been though any of the states we went through, with the exceptions of Iowa and Texas, it was most definitely an interesting experience. A rough overview of our trip follows:
- Iowa was boring, we were thrilled to make it to Nebraska and away from the Danish Windmill.
- Lunch with Tyler in Omaha, after that Nebraska sucked and we were happy to drive through most of it in the dark.
- Colorado is not a magical place where the terrain instantly changes to mountains, however we were able to finally see the Rockies in the distance for a couple hours as we drove towards them.
- Stop at Mile High stadium, I unsuccessfully attempt to break into the stadium. We manage to break into the hall of fame.
- Stop at Garden of the Gods in Colorado Springs, thanks to a hint from a friend. Best. Stop. Ever. Absolutely gorgeous, we contemplate going hiking in the Rockies instead of going to the football game.
- Made it south to Albuquerque, drove through potentially beautiful landscape in the dark.
- Driving through New Mexico was also boring, with the exception of the "Indian Village" tourist trap, with reminders every 0.2 miles, and the multitudes of casinos.
- There was snow in Arizona, we weren't sure how that happened until we realized we were at altitudes of about 6000 feet.
- We decide to take a picture with a cactus, we find one however a low lying barbed wire fence stands in our way. I make the brilliant decision to jump the fence.
- Cacti hurt. Also, their needles are hell to take out of human flesh without getting it stuck to other parts of one's body. Cactus: 1, Beth: 0.
- Shortly after taking said picture with cactus, we realize the low lying barbed wire fence ended about 20 feet from where I made friends with the cactus. We walk around the fence.
- The decent into Phoenix was gorgeous, amid palm trees and cacti.
- We check into our hotel, and nearly get lost on our way to battle of the bands. Turns out that about half of the streets are apparently not important enough to be put on maps.
- After battle of the bands, we make it to a brewery on the ASU campus. Two guys buy us drinks all night. Later, we ditch them. girls:1, men:0.
- Bowl game day: we go to the tailgating party and realize not many college age students made it down to Tempe. We go to the game and miss the student section. We do the cheers by ourselves anyway.
- Minnesota loses. Big surprise.
- Block party afterward, we begin our quest to find cute boys to kiss at midnight.
- Styx was awesome, period.
- We wish everyone back home a Happy New Year at 11 PM
- Begin the trip home, again reminded of all the casinos and indian villages.
- Texas can't pronounce Spanish correctly, makes Ruth angry.
- Oklahoma sucks almost as much as Nebraska. Also, Oklahoma City is a dump.
- We are astounded and confused by crossing the "North Canada River" in Oklahoma. Three times.
- The Ozarks were kinda pretty, would be better in spring or fall due to the multitudes of deciduous trees.
- Called Heinzen in Arkansas, didn't reach him until Missouri, for the sole purpose of making fun of the South.
- Drive home found the only precipitation we saw on the entire trip: freezing rain. 7.5 hours into a 6 hour trip, we finally make it back to Minneapolis, hoping to never hear Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, Lady GaGa, or Nickelback ever again.
The trip was amazing, and I'm so happy that I went. It was nice to see the interior of the country, and make fun of some of the quirks we found in each state. I can see now why a long road trip is the "quintessential college experience".
Monday, December 22, 2008
Home for the Holidays
The semester wrapped up nicely, it looks like I'm still in the running to graduate in May- which was questionable for a while.
Like I said before, I finished what I came to do, but it took a lot of hard work on my part. Not really something I'm afraid of.
One semester left. Getting nervous. Not sure if I'm ready for this whole "real world" thing. Seems like a lot of responsibility that I don't want. Suddenly, I realize why I wanted to go to grad school. Postpone the hard life.
I paid my second cell phone bill yesterday. Not sure why that is a milestone for me, but it is. I guess with each new bill I have to pay I feel a little bit more independent from my parents, feel less like their kid and more like a real person in the world.
I put myself in charge of Christmas Eve hors d'oeuvres. A lot more challenging than in past years when we would just sit around and eat cookies, since we will not be having Christmas cookies this year. I might be a rebel and bake something anyway, despite my parents wishes. As long as Fred eats them all, they'll be fine. I'm thinking on the docket will be chicken quesadillas, spinach and artichoke dip, a cheese ball, and ham roll ups. Possibly roasted mixed nuts and veggies and dip too, we'll see what I have time and budget for. I dunno, it just doesn't seem like Christmas without cookies. We'll see.
Parents got a snowmobile recently. I got to ride it, and got it stuck within five minutes. Go me. Fortunately, they're not that heavy, and I was able to push it back onto the road. Those things are FAST! I got up to about 35-40 mph before needing to slow down because the snow was hitting my face so hard that it was starting to get cold and painful. I feel like I can finally be accepted as a northern Minnesotan once I go ice fishing. Which might happen over this break- it would have happened yesterday, but the ice is really crappy on the lake by my house.
There is a Caribou coffee in Hibbing, only two years old. I thought that Hibbing was trying to appeal to the younger crowds and finally provide us with something to do besides loiter in Wal Mart, and that it would never be accepted completely by the city- it would forever remain Hibbing's attempt at metro culture. Yesterday evening, while I was waiting for an old friend, sitting across from me at a table were four old men, wearing carhart jackets, drinking coffee and talking about fishing, as if this were a Sunday afternoon at Sportsman's. I realized then, that it's not that Hibbing needed to adopt Caribou, but that Caribou needed to adopt Hibbing. It made me smile, as this is probably not something I would never see in Minneapolis.
Like I said before, I finished what I came to do, but it took a lot of hard work on my part. Not really something I'm afraid of.
One semester left. Getting nervous. Not sure if I'm ready for this whole "real world" thing. Seems like a lot of responsibility that I don't want. Suddenly, I realize why I wanted to go to grad school. Postpone the hard life.
I paid my second cell phone bill yesterday. Not sure why that is a milestone for me, but it is. I guess with each new bill I have to pay I feel a little bit more independent from my parents, feel less like their kid and more like a real person in the world.
I put myself in charge of Christmas Eve hors d'oeuvres. A lot more challenging than in past years when we would just sit around and eat cookies, since we will not be having Christmas cookies this year. I might be a rebel and bake something anyway, despite my parents wishes. As long as Fred eats them all, they'll be fine. I'm thinking on the docket will be chicken quesadillas, spinach and artichoke dip, a cheese ball, and ham roll ups. Possibly roasted mixed nuts and veggies and dip too, we'll see what I have time and budget for. I dunno, it just doesn't seem like Christmas without cookies. We'll see.
Parents got a snowmobile recently. I got to ride it, and got it stuck within five minutes. Go me. Fortunately, they're not that heavy, and I was able to push it back onto the road. Those things are FAST! I got up to about 35-40 mph before needing to slow down because the snow was hitting my face so hard that it was starting to get cold and painful. I feel like I can finally be accepted as a northern Minnesotan once I go ice fishing. Which might happen over this break- it would have happened yesterday, but the ice is really crappy on the lake by my house.
There is a Caribou coffee in Hibbing, only two years old. I thought that Hibbing was trying to appeal to the younger crowds and finally provide us with something to do besides loiter in Wal Mart, and that it would never be accepted completely by the city- it would forever remain Hibbing's attempt at metro culture. Yesterday evening, while I was waiting for an old friend, sitting across from me at a table were four old men, wearing carhart jackets, drinking coffee and talking about fishing, as if this were a Sunday afternoon at Sportsman's. I realized then, that it's not that Hibbing needed to adopt Caribou, but that Caribou needed to adopt Hibbing. It made me smile, as this is probably not something I would never see in Minneapolis.
Monday, December 08, 2008
Splendid Evening
Wicked. was. amazing.
I went out on a 'girl date' with my roommate. We'd been planning on seeing the Broadway production of "Wicked" since this summer, and we got tickets for tonight a few months ago. I've read the book, and was constantly bowled with "how awesome" it is, so needless to say I was really excited to go. It was all that it was talked up to be, and then some.
I absolutely love how it deviated from the book (which was good, but only mediocre in comparison to the musical), especially the way the end was changed for the musical. I definitely like the production's version better, but I've always been a sucker for happy endings.
Prior to the show, we went to McCormick and Schmick's- which was also incredible. Definitely good for the price (about $40/plate + wine). The dessert looked better than tasted, or maybe I was just too full (your waiter brings a tray of all the desserts so you see what they look like- definitely a marketing scheme because they all look fabulously tasty).
Honestly, the only downfall to the night is the fact that it was so cold outside that we ran (hopped) from place to place to stay warm- which gets dangerous in slippery conditions.
le sigh, I hope that I make a point to see more shows while living here. And I hope to one day see one on Broadway.
I went out on a 'girl date' with my roommate. We'd been planning on seeing the Broadway production of "Wicked" since this summer, and we got tickets for tonight a few months ago. I've read the book, and was constantly bowled with "how awesome" it is, so needless to say I was really excited to go. It was all that it was talked up to be, and then some.
I absolutely love how it deviated from the book (which was good, but only mediocre in comparison to the musical), especially the way the end was changed for the musical. I definitely like the production's version better, but I've always been a sucker for happy endings.
Prior to the show, we went to McCormick and Schmick's- which was also incredible. Definitely good for the price (about $40/plate + wine). The dessert looked better than tasted, or maybe I was just too full (your waiter brings a tray of all the desserts so you see what they look like- definitely a marketing scheme because they all look fabulously tasty).
Honestly, the only downfall to the night is the fact that it was so cold outside that we ran (hopped) from place to place to stay warm- which gets dangerous in slippery conditions.
le sigh, I hope that I make a point to see more shows while living here. And I hope to one day see one on Broadway.
Saturday, December 06, 2008
End of Semester
I feel a little frustrated with myself right now. The semester is (basically) done, and I feel like I have nothing and everything to celebrate. I finally get to sleep, and have little to no work left for the rest of the semester. I have a job that I can't celebrate having because it pisses people off that I have a job, and I'm caught in an emotional turmoil that I'm angry at myself that I cannot overcome. I also really really want to play video games.
It started a while ago when I was playing "Overlord" on my friend's XBox. It was amazing, and made me remember how much I loved playing video games in high school (for those of you who didn't know me then, it was a lot more often than you probably think). Lately it's been something I do when I'm bored (rarely) and not actually something I look forward to anymore. I think I finally figured out why.
This morning I asked one of my friends if I would like Left 4 Dead. Instead of, "yeah" or "no" (the obvious answers) I got a disdainful look and a remark about how my PC probably couldn't play it (by the way, it can- it's not THAT old... yeesh.). It's not just this particular person in general, but it pretty much characterizes how most of my college friends feel about me playing video games. "oh look, Beth is trying to fit in again, how cute."
...
I don't think they realize how much it frustrates/angers/saddens me to the point where if I were to get something that I would play regularly, I don't feel comfortable telling any of them about it. So what, I'm not obsessed. Never was. But last time I checked, that doesn't mean I can't play at all.
And it just so happens that killing zombies may be up my alley. How would I know? I've never tried. I'm too self-conscious to do so.
I feel like if I get this game, I'm going to look like a poser trying to fit in with my friends that play video games (so... about 2/3 of them). But why should I not, if it's something I genuinely want to try? Not telling them would be the best option for me, however impossible given my circumstances.
It started a while ago when I was playing "Overlord" on my friend's XBox. It was amazing, and made me remember how much I loved playing video games in high school (for those of you who didn't know me then, it was a lot more often than you probably think). Lately it's been something I do when I'm bored (rarely) and not actually something I look forward to anymore. I think I finally figured out why.
This morning I asked one of my friends if I would like Left 4 Dead. Instead of, "yeah" or "no" (the obvious answers) I got a disdainful look and a remark about how my PC probably couldn't play it (by the way, it can- it's not THAT old... yeesh.). It's not just this particular person in general, but it pretty much characterizes how most of my college friends feel about me playing video games. "oh look, Beth is trying to fit in again, how cute."
...
I don't think they realize how much it frustrates/angers/saddens me to the point where if I were to get something that I would play regularly, I don't feel comfortable telling any of them about it. So what, I'm not obsessed. Never was. But last time I checked, that doesn't mean I can't play at all.
And it just so happens that killing zombies may be up my alley. How would I know? I've never tried. I'm too self-conscious to do so.
I feel like if I get this game, I'm going to look like a poser trying to fit in with my friends that play video games (so... about 2/3 of them). But why should I not, if it's something I genuinely want to try? Not telling them would be the best option for me, however impossible given my circumstances.
Wednesday, November 19, 2008
pet peeve
random pet peeve of the week:
when Athiests take the Lord's name in vain.
seriously, if you don't believe in Him, then don't swear on his name. Not only is it offensive, but it also makes no fucking sense.
when Athiests take the Lord's name in vain.
seriously, if you don't believe in Him, then don't swear on his name. Not only is it offensive, but it also makes no fucking sense.
Friday, November 07, 2008
Happiness
For some inexplicable reason, I'm thrilled to be alive lately. There is no getting me down. Maybe I'm bipolar? Except for that feeling like I can accomplish anything, I don't have that.
Perhaps it's because I've finally faced the fact that I will accomplish what I set out to do, it's going to suck in the meantime, and I might as well be happy about it than not- otherwise I'm going to be miserable. There really is no getting around that.
I officially took the job with Ecolab. Now I just have to graduate. I'm really excited, now I just need to figure out where/with who I will be living. I don't really want to live by myself, but if I don't know anyone staying in the area, then I probably will instead of getting a random off Craig's list. I'm really excited to start there. I'm also really excited to finish college.
Senioritis has taken hold, fairly strongly. I think its knowing that my college GPA does not matter anymore, unless I want to get into a Master's program eventually (which I do, so I'm not completely dissing my grades). But also, at this point, my mind is just set on passing.
I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving. Here's hoping that I can finish my mitten while I'm there, and hopefully start on a hat. I'm starting to need those...
Lately I've been obsessed with John Wayne. What a stud, really. I think I'm going to get a framed poster of him, and put it next to The Godfather one that I already have. Fantastic decorations for my future bachelorette pad. I've also been inspired lately to find a life size storm trooper outfit and light saber for display. On the order of the bachelorette pad, I find that I'm being pressured to buy my guy friends' HDTV. They bought a Costco (40"?) one for about $750 about a year ago and plan on selling it for just under that. I'm not sure how I feel about this- I don't think I would really use that big of a TV, but it would be pretty sweet to have. I'm at an internal conflict: on one hand, the TV is pretty nice and if my friends want to sell it to me it means that no one else can really take it as easily off their hands, but on the other hand I really don't want or need one that large. Yeah, my plan was to get a nice HDTV, but a normal sized one. It's not like I'm going to have people over all the time like they do now, it would be pretty cool if I did, but most of the time it would just be me. I also know next to nothing about how to work it, and it would also mean a larger cable bill because I'll probably want the HD channels and fast internet. At this point, I'm kind of hoping that one of them will buy it so I don't have to decide.
Personally, I think that this is not a horrible problem to have :)
Perhaps it's because I've finally faced the fact that I will accomplish what I set out to do, it's going to suck in the meantime, and I might as well be happy about it than not- otherwise I'm going to be miserable. There really is no getting around that.
I officially took the job with Ecolab. Now I just have to graduate. I'm really excited, now I just need to figure out where/with who I will be living. I don't really want to live by myself, but if I don't know anyone staying in the area, then I probably will instead of getting a random off Craig's list. I'm really excited to start there. I'm also really excited to finish college.
Senioritis has taken hold, fairly strongly. I think its knowing that my college GPA does not matter anymore, unless I want to get into a Master's program eventually (which I do, so I'm not completely dissing my grades). But also, at this point, my mind is just set on passing.
I can't wait to go home for Thanksgiving. Here's hoping that I can finish my mitten while I'm there, and hopefully start on a hat. I'm starting to need those...
Lately I've been obsessed with John Wayne. What a stud, really. I think I'm going to get a framed poster of him, and put it next to The Godfather one that I already have. Fantastic decorations for my future bachelorette pad. I've also been inspired lately to find a life size storm trooper outfit and light saber for display. On the order of the bachelorette pad, I find that I'm being pressured to buy my guy friends' HDTV. They bought a Costco (40"?) one for about $750 about a year ago and plan on selling it for just under that. I'm not sure how I feel about this- I don't think I would really use that big of a TV, but it would be pretty sweet to have. I'm at an internal conflict: on one hand, the TV is pretty nice and if my friends want to sell it to me it means that no one else can really take it as easily off their hands, but on the other hand I really don't want or need one that large. Yeah, my plan was to get a nice HDTV, but a normal sized one. It's not like I'm going to have people over all the time like they do now, it would be pretty cool if I did, but most of the time it would just be me. I also know next to nothing about how to work it, and it would also mean a larger cable bill because I'll probably want the HD channels and fast internet. At this point, I'm kind of hoping that one of them will buy it so I don't have to decide.
Personally, I think that this is not a horrible problem to have :)
Thursday, October 30, 2008
After all, Tomorrow is another day
To put it bluntly, relationships suck. I honestly don't know if I'm going to try it again. I fail miserably. And I don't know what I'm doing wrong...
A relationship with a good friend was not a good idea the first time around- so why did I think it would be different this time? On top of that, why did I try one with my ex's roommate? At this point, I realize that it never mattered how much I liked him.
I hate it when I'm so stupid.
This is a first for me. Normally I'm able to emotionally pull away at least a little. Actually, that's a lie. I think I've remained emotionally distant for the whole relationship. To protect myself from this. Or was I inviting it?
What do I want for my birthday?
Someone to love me.
A relationship with a good friend was not a good idea the first time around- so why did I think it would be different this time? On top of that, why did I try one with my ex's roommate? At this point, I realize that it never mattered how much I liked him.
I hate it when I'm so stupid.
This is a first for me. Normally I'm able to emotionally pull away at least a little. Actually, that's a lie. I think I've remained emotionally distant for the whole relationship. To protect myself from this. Or was I inviting it?
What do I want for my birthday?
Someone to love me.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
The English Patient and Thoughts on a Hectic Life
I forgot how rewarding it feels to finish an outline of a large paper. I just finished one for a paper that I need to write, after reading only three of my sources. Honestly, I feel really good about it, like I've accomplished something, that I've set out to finish what seemed like an impossible task.
the trick is to have the stupid thing written today... ugh. I really don't want to write 6 pages on the identity of the English Patient. Even though I did enjoy the story.
Everything else is going crazy. I literally sleep in my free time. I talk to friends while I'm doing homework, so I have some type of social life. My existence is defined by school. Probably the story of any other college student, I'm aware.
I guess that's not completely true, I do have some semblance of free time. Lately, I've just needed to spend it on job-related things- which should be just about over, now.
Halloween this weekend. If I don't dress up, I believe it will be the first Halloween that I have not dressed up. Not that it should be a big deal or anything, but just a fact of life. I haven't been blindsided with inspiration, and do not plan on trick-or-canning or entering a costume contest in a mass ticket with about forty of my friends. I love dressing up, when it's something original. This year I'll go as a chemical engineer. A farce, if you've seen my grades lately.
If this is what I should do with my life, I'll do it. I trust enough in God that he'll get me through this. A little hard work, faith, and determination. And by little, I might mean lots.
Elections are coming up, everyone figuring out who they're voting for in a week. TV is saturated with it. It makes me sick, especially because I like neither candidate, and a vote for anyone else would be throwing it away. Ron Popeil for President! Fix it and Forget it.
I've heard several times that America might not be ready for a black President. Quite honestly, what makes people believe that we're ready for a woman President either? The trend in our nation is to allow black men rights before any women (e.g. suffrage), why should our elected be different? Quite honestly, sexism has been around for eons longer than racism against blacks. And neither are removed from our society either, I realize, but I don't see the point in arguing against Obama just because "America isn't ready". America is very ready for a black President- hell, the UK had a black prime minister! We have a black secretary of state! And guess what- not assasinated.
Not that i'm pro-Obama. I'm non-partisan, and like I said before, favor neither candidate. I realize I'm going to have to make up my mind soon, but it's not going to be easy. It might get easier if Palin is allowed to keep speaking publicly... that might confirm that I really don't want to cast a vote that may put her in a position of any public power whatsoever. "nucular". ugh.
the trick is to have the stupid thing written today... ugh. I really don't want to write 6 pages on the identity of the English Patient. Even though I did enjoy the story.
Everything else is going crazy. I literally sleep in my free time. I talk to friends while I'm doing homework, so I have some type of social life. My existence is defined by school. Probably the story of any other college student, I'm aware.
I guess that's not completely true, I do have some semblance of free time. Lately, I've just needed to spend it on job-related things- which should be just about over, now.
Halloween this weekend. If I don't dress up, I believe it will be the first Halloween that I have not dressed up. Not that it should be a big deal or anything, but just a fact of life. I haven't been blindsided with inspiration, and do not plan on trick-or-canning or entering a costume contest in a mass ticket with about forty of my friends. I love dressing up, when it's something original. This year I'll go as a chemical engineer. A farce, if you've seen my grades lately.
If this is what I should do with my life, I'll do it. I trust enough in God that he'll get me through this. A little hard work, faith, and determination. And by little, I might mean lots.
Elections are coming up, everyone figuring out who they're voting for in a week. TV is saturated with it. It makes me sick, especially because I like neither candidate, and a vote for anyone else would be throwing it away. Ron Popeil for President! Fix it and Forget it.
I've heard several times that America might not be ready for a black President. Quite honestly, what makes people believe that we're ready for a woman President either? The trend in our nation is to allow black men rights before any women (e.g. suffrage), why should our elected be different? Quite honestly, sexism has been around for eons longer than racism against blacks. And neither are removed from our society either, I realize, but I don't see the point in arguing against Obama just because "America isn't ready". America is very ready for a black President- hell, the UK had a black prime minister! We have a black secretary of state! And guess what- not assasinated.
Not that i'm pro-Obama. I'm non-partisan, and like I said before, favor neither candidate. I realize I'm going to have to make up my mind soon, but it's not going to be easy. It might get easier if Palin is allowed to keep speaking publicly... that might confirm that I really don't want to cast a vote that may put her in a position of any public power whatsoever. "nucular". ugh.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Job Searching
It's been a while since I updated, I guess it's starting to be like last year all over again! I promised myself I wouldn't let that happen. I did take steps to prevent being too overdrawn, however.
Searching for a job is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done to my future. Just knowing that in less than a year I will be living who knows where doing God knows what is a little frightening. On the bright side, it has been revealed to me lately that I will, in fact, have a job if I so choose at Ecolab- so at least I don't have to worry too much about that.
Macosko yesterday was trying to convince me to go to grad school. I can tell that he wants me to be happy and if he knew that what I wanted out of life and what I was doing to get there meshed he wouldn't be worried. I guess that needs explanation: I want to work in research and development, however not having an advanced degree hinders this process- and from what I've heard - also hinders moving up within the company (which also depends on the company). Thing is, if I go through any more school in the next year, I'm going to go batshit insane. I want to eventually get my masters degree, but not now, and hopefully not have to pay for it. Who knows, I might like working as a more traditional engineer too- whose jobs are rarely given to those with advanced degrees.
Maybe I feel like I'm making too many decisions that will really affect my future right now. I know these decisions are necessary, but I also know that they're very hard to fall back on. Chemical engineering is fairly unique in that these decisions are necessary- all of the mechanical, aerospace, electrical, etc. engineers that I know are all just looking for basic "jobs"- they don't need to specify product or process design as far as I know, and even if they do, I don't think that they're "stuck" in that particular field either. I guess this is why most companies have rotational programs for people like me, huh? I really don't want to get uprooted in the middle of something though, which always worries me with those things. I don't mind moving- hell, I've done it most of my life (max of four years in one place- the first place I lived! - and I'm living in place #14 I think...)
On a really exciting note, I'm travelling to Delaware next week, for an interview with DuPont! I am very excited for this, as I have never been to the East coast. Unfortunately, I won't be there long enough to experience anything- however I will be in downtown Wilmington for about three or four hours without anything to do a week from next Tuesday night. Exciting!!! Definitely bringing the camera (and extra batteries too).
I think I'm going to ask for money towards new digital camera for Christmas... as much as I like the old one, it's dying. Not just the batteries, but it's HUGE and doesn't fit well into my purse. I want a little one, but as most of you know I can't just get any piece of technology, so the one I have picked out is about $500. Which is approx. $300 out of my price range at the moment.
I can't wait to not be poor.
Searching for a job is probably one of the scariest things I've ever done to my future. Just knowing that in less than a year I will be living who knows where doing God knows what is a little frightening. On the bright side, it has been revealed to me lately that I will, in fact, have a job if I so choose at Ecolab- so at least I don't have to worry too much about that.
Macosko yesterday was trying to convince me to go to grad school. I can tell that he wants me to be happy and if he knew that what I wanted out of life and what I was doing to get there meshed he wouldn't be worried. I guess that needs explanation: I want to work in research and development, however not having an advanced degree hinders this process- and from what I've heard - also hinders moving up within the company (which also depends on the company). Thing is, if I go through any more school in the next year, I'm going to go batshit insane. I want to eventually get my masters degree, but not now, and hopefully not have to pay for it. Who knows, I might like working as a more traditional engineer too- whose jobs are rarely given to those with advanced degrees.
Maybe I feel like I'm making too many decisions that will really affect my future right now. I know these decisions are necessary, but I also know that they're very hard to fall back on. Chemical engineering is fairly unique in that these decisions are necessary- all of the mechanical, aerospace, electrical, etc. engineers that I know are all just looking for basic "jobs"- they don't need to specify product or process design as far as I know, and even if they do, I don't think that they're "stuck" in that particular field either. I guess this is why most companies have rotational programs for people like me, huh? I really don't want to get uprooted in the middle of something though, which always worries me with those things. I don't mind moving- hell, I've done it most of my life (max of four years in one place- the first place I lived! - and I'm living in place #14 I think...)
On a really exciting note, I'm travelling to Delaware next week, for an interview with DuPont! I am very excited for this, as I have never been to the East coast. Unfortunately, I won't be there long enough to experience anything- however I will be in downtown Wilmington for about three or four hours without anything to do a week from next Tuesday night. Exciting!!! Definitely bringing the camera (and extra batteries too).
I think I'm going to ask for money towards new digital camera for Christmas... as much as I like the old one, it's dying. Not just the batteries, but it's HUGE and doesn't fit well into my purse. I want a little one, but as most of you know I can't just get any piece of technology, so the one I have picked out is about $500. Which is approx. $300 out of my price range at the moment.
I can't wait to not be poor.
Saturday, August 16, 2008
3 month crash
It's been a while since I've been able to update, mostly because I've been so busy.
Everything I did was going really well for a while, which usually is more work than things going poorly, so believe me- I'm not complaining that I was busy. Busy is good. Keeps my mind off of some things and on more productive trains of thought. Also it means that things are going well.
And somehow over the course of all of this, I'm over him. Completely. He could bring home a supermodel and sex her up in front of me, and ironically I would wish him the best of luck, and no STD's. I feel like we can finally be friends again. Whether or not we will is entirely up to him, and I really wouldn't blame him for not wanting to be. Especially lately.
I finished with my internship yesterday. I was so steadfast on going to graduate school in May. Now I'm not sure that I'll even go at all. It's so remarkable how fast one can change their mind, and how that can affect their entire future. I took the GRE's- just in case, and I think I might get a master's degree while working. As long as I can do R&D (and be flexible whether or not I'd stay), I'll be happy. Ecolab was an eye opening experience into life in the corporate world, and life in R&D. I was told last January that I would hate it there. I didn't. I really didn't think I would either, but I knew it would be different. Each experience had their ups and downs, and I really don't think it's easy to compare the two internships- they were so different in every aspect. I know I had career altering experiences at both companies, and am very grateful for them.
Unfortunately, it would seem that now I need to update my resume and start searching for a job. Actually, I might be a little behind on that now, but fortunately my resume is pretty easy to update. Also, I was happy to hear that the career fair at the U is not until the third week of school, unlike the past few years where it has occurred the second week of school- meaning that I have a week to catch up.
It's a little frightening knowing that in less than a year, I have absolutely no idea where I'll be. I'm open to moving anywhere, I'm not tied down in any way, and would actually prefer to live in another part of the country (or world) for a while. I think I would prefer to stay in the continental 48, however.
In unrelated news, I'll be a TA for a freshman seminar this fall! I'm really excited, and actually will get the chance to lead a class!
Now I have two weeks before class starts, and I get to get ready for this class, go home for a while, and plan a SWE event. Like I said before, busy is good.
Everything I did was going really well for a while, which usually is more work than things going poorly, so believe me- I'm not complaining that I was busy. Busy is good. Keeps my mind off of some things and on more productive trains of thought. Also it means that things are going well.
And somehow over the course of all of this, I'm over him. Completely. He could bring home a supermodel and sex her up in front of me, and ironically I would wish him the best of luck, and no STD's. I feel like we can finally be friends again. Whether or not we will is entirely up to him, and I really wouldn't blame him for not wanting to be. Especially lately.
I finished with my internship yesterday. I was so steadfast on going to graduate school in May. Now I'm not sure that I'll even go at all. It's so remarkable how fast one can change their mind, and how that can affect their entire future. I took the GRE's- just in case, and I think I might get a master's degree while working. As long as I can do R&D (and be flexible whether or not I'd stay), I'll be happy. Ecolab was an eye opening experience into life in the corporate world, and life in R&D. I was told last January that I would hate it there. I didn't. I really didn't think I would either, but I knew it would be different. Each experience had their ups and downs, and I really don't think it's easy to compare the two internships- they were so different in every aspect. I know I had career altering experiences at both companies, and am very grateful for them.
Unfortunately, it would seem that now I need to update my resume and start searching for a job. Actually, I might be a little behind on that now, but fortunately my resume is pretty easy to update. Also, I was happy to hear that the career fair at the U is not until the third week of school, unlike the past few years where it has occurred the second week of school- meaning that I have a week to catch up.
It's a little frightening knowing that in less than a year, I have absolutely no idea where I'll be. I'm open to moving anywhere, I'm not tied down in any way, and would actually prefer to live in another part of the country (or world) for a while. I think I would prefer to stay in the continental 48, however.
In unrelated news, I'll be a TA for a freshman seminar this fall! I'm really excited, and actually will get the chance to lead a class!
Now I have two weeks before class starts, and I get to get ready for this class, go home for a while, and plan a SWE event. Like I said before, busy is good.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Fourth of July
So, updates in my life thus far:
My job is AMAZING. I absolutely love it there, and I have a hard time going home some days. My boss is fantastic, and the people that work there are incredible. I'm making some great friends there.
I went up north again to see Missy run Grandma's, this time alone, and she did so well- I'm really proud of her. I know she'll make her goal of 4 hours sooner than later. Additionally, finishing five marathons is a huge accomplishment, that I'm not sure she's aware of.
Heading north again this weekend, this time with Mike. It should be fun, I have to take some time out on Friday to help Erica's sister plan a bridal shower and bachelorette party, which I'm really looking forward to (even if they are on the same day as the Macosko bbq... boo). I'm also really looking forward to their wedding, which I am starting to feel a little weird about. I'm going to have friends in a month that will be married. weird.
That makes me realize that soon I'm going to have to make some big decisions, like getting my own cell phone, car insurance, other stuff. I'll be an independent adult, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. That's if I don't go to graduate school though- apparently as long as I'm in school, Dad pays for insurance. I'll still need my own cell phone. I guess this means that I get a slider!! That could be dangerous, those things are way too amusing for my own good. Just like shiny objects.
My job is AMAZING. I absolutely love it there, and I have a hard time going home some days. My boss is fantastic, and the people that work there are incredible. I'm making some great friends there.
I went up north again to see Missy run Grandma's, this time alone, and she did so well- I'm really proud of her. I know she'll make her goal of 4 hours sooner than later. Additionally, finishing five marathons is a huge accomplishment, that I'm not sure she's aware of.
Heading north again this weekend, this time with Mike. It should be fun, I have to take some time out on Friday to help Erica's sister plan a bridal shower and bachelorette party, which I'm really looking forward to (even if they are on the same day as the Macosko bbq... boo). I'm also really looking forward to their wedding, which I am starting to feel a little weird about. I'm going to have friends in a month that will be married. weird.
That makes me realize that soon I'm going to have to make some big decisions, like getting my own cell phone, car insurance, other stuff. I'll be an independent adult, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that. That's if I don't go to graduate school though- apparently as long as I'm in school, Dad pays for insurance. I'll still need my own cell phone. I guess this means that I get a slider!! That could be dangerous, those things are way too amusing for my own good. Just like shiny objects.
Sunday, June 01, 2008
Pet Peeve or Just Plain Stupid?
So, I've seen this several times:
Cop (usually a UMPD) beaches his car either on a lawn somewhere, a handicap spot, or in a no parking zone. Because, really. Who is going to give a cop a parking ticket. Another cop? I didn't think so.
So anyway, after haphazardly strewing their nasty vehicle in the most random spot, they get out, and leave it running. RUNNING. That's totally great for the environment, guys. Thanks. Additionally, I'm pretty sure they get compensated for gas- that they're wasting. Who compensates them? Who pays for cops? In the long run, we do. So when I see this, I get mad. As JG Wentworth would say, "It's my money and I need it NOW". Not some prissy cop who, for some dumbass reason decided to beach his/her car randomly and leave it running.
The worst part is, on more than one occasion I've witnessed this (because I was in the restaurant at the time watching out the window) the reason the cop stopped in the first place, is so that he/she can EAT LUNCH. And it's not a ohcrapIleftmycarrunningIneedtogetoutofthisplacefast kind of lunch... it's a let's sit down, have some coffee and pizza/cheeseburger/whatever, chat about life leisurely, while my fucking car pollutes the atmosphere and I charge taxpayers for my wasted already overpriced fuel kind of lunch.
ugh.
Cop (usually a UMPD) beaches his car either on a lawn somewhere, a handicap spot, or in a no parking zone. Because, really. Who is going to give a cop a parking ticket. Another cop? I didn't think so.
So anyway, after haphazardly strewing their nasty vehicle in the most random spot, they get out, and leave it running. RUNNING. That's totally great for the environment, guys. Thanks. Additionally, I'm pretty sure they get compensated for gas- that they're wasting. Who compensates them? Who pays for cops? In the long run, we do. So when I see this, I get mad. As JG Wentworth would say, "It's my money and I need it NOW". Not some prissy cop who, for some dumbass reason decided to beach his/her car randomly and leave it running.
The worst part is, on more than one occasion I've witnessed this (because I was in the restaurant at the time watching out the window) the reason the cop stopped in the first place, is so that he/she can EAT LUNCH. And it's not a ohcrapIleftmycarrunningIneedtogetoutofthisplacefast kind of lunch... it's a let's sit down, have some coffee and pizza/cheeseburger/whatever, chat about life leisurely, while my fucking car pollutes the atmosphere and I charge taxpayers for my wasted already overpriced fuel kind of lunch.
ugh.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Falling Out of Love
http://www.wikihow.com/Fall-Out-of-Love
I can't believe there is a step-by-step method for this...
I can't believe there is a step-by-step method for this...
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Another tidbit
I also found out today that the paper that Zhiyong put me as an author on got published! w00t!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I'
So, today I learned that my options for graduate school have very few limits if I continue how well I've been doing, and also do well on the GRE's.
I also learned that I would be presenting a poster at I prime (I'). At least I'm one of the authors on the poster, and I have to be there (I don't think I actually get to present anything).
I think I'm tasting colors right about now.
This is kind of a huge deal for an undergraduate researcher, rarely do we get to this level, and I mean I'm only an author on a poster, but it's totally something!
yay!
I also learned that I would be presenting a poster at I prime (I'). At least I'm one of the authors on the poster, and I have to be there (I don't think I actually get to present anything).
I think I'm tasting colors right about now.
This is kind of a huge deal for an undergraduate researcher, rarely do we get to this level, and I mean I'm only an author on a poster, but it's totally something!
yay!
Saturday, May 17, 2008
It's over.
Officially, I am now a senior- one year from graduating with a degree in chemical engineering.
And you could probably say that I'm scared shitless.
Really, I'm not ready for the real world, and I don't think I will be in another year. Little by little I'm getting acclimated, but at least I'll (hopefully) have grad school to postpone that for a while.
It's also going to be really hard not looking for jobs with salaries.
I'll just need to keep my goals in mind: I don't want to be someone's bitch. I want to do my own things (in the interest of the company) and tell other people to do the easier stuff for me. I have no idea what degree that equates to, I figure it's a doctorate.
I'm definitely going to miss the people that are leaving for the summer, but really, we will probably all be so busy that school will start again before we know it and we will all be together again.
And you could probably say that I'm scared shitless.
Really, I'm not ready for the real world, and I don't think I will be in another year. Little by little I'm getting acclimated, but at least I'll (hopefully) have grad school to postpone that for a while.
It's also going to be really hard not looking for jobs with salaries.
I'll just need to keep my goals in mind: I don't want to be someone's bitch. I want to do my own things (in the interest of the company) and tell other people to do the easier stuff for me. I have no idea what degree that equates to, I figure it's a doctorate.
I'm definitely going to miss the people that are leaving for the summer, but really, we will probably all be so busy that school will start again before we know it and we will all be together again.
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
oh bother
First final done! two to go, a final (art) presentation tonight, and a final paper to submit. Except for the two tests, everything is extremely close to being finished.
I really am not sure about this presentation tonight. What I drew is a little bit personal to me, if only for what it represents. The content of the drawing is pretty impersonal- just a broken picture frame.
EDIT: It actually turned out really well, people seemed to like it
But think about what kinds of things a broken picture frame represents? Broken love life, death of a loved one, some type of natural disaster...
I wanted to convey grief, and I feel like I managed to do that. I just don't want to share my grief with everyone else, yet I don't know how to otherwise display my drawing. I do want to pass the class, however, so I'm just going to have to suck it up and hope no one notices that this is more than just a drawing for me.
I guess this must be an artistic fear, this displaying of personal property. I don't like it, this is why I'm in engineering. Art is judged so subjectively, whether it is well-liked, hated, or indifferent depends on the person viewing it. This is a little like why I don't like people seeing my grades on exams, reading what I write- be it a short story or an opinionated essay, or seeing my personal property, or my small drawings in that notebook everyone has that no one else knows about. I guess you could say that I hate being judged, and it's something that I'm going to have to get over if I ever want to survive in the real world.
Buck up, little soldier.
I really am not sure about this presentation tonight. What I drew is a little bit personal to me, if only for what it represents. The content of the drawing is pretty impersonal- just a broken picture frame.
EDIT: It actually turned out really well, people seemed to like it
But think about what kinds of things a broken picture frame represents? Broken love life, death of a loved one, some type of natural disaster...
I wanted to convey grief, and I feel like I managed to do that. I just don't want to share my grief with everyone else, yet I don't know how to otherwise display my drawing. I do want to pass the class, however, so I'm just going to have to suck it up and hope no one notices that this is more than just a drawing for me.
I guess this must be an artistic fear, this displaying of personal property. I don't like it, this is why I'm in engineering. Art is judged so subjectively, whether it is well-liked, hated, or indifferent depends on the person viewing it. This is a little like why I don't like people seeing my grades on exams, reading what I write- be it a short story or an opinionated essay, or seeing my personal property, or my small drawings in that notebook everyone has that no one else knows about. I guess you could say that I hate being judged, and it's something that I'm going to have to get over if I ever want to survive in the real world.
Buck up, little soldier.
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