End of Semester

I feel a little frustrated with myself right now. The semester is (basically) done, and I feel like I have nothing and everything to celebrate. I finally get to sleep, and have little to no work left for the rest of the semester. I have a job that I can't celebrate having because it pisses people off that I have a job, and I'm caught in an emotional turmoil that I'm angry at myself that I cannot overcome. I also really really want to play video games.
It started a while ago when I was playing "Overlord" on my friend's XBox. It was amazing, and made me remember how much I loved playing video games in high school (for those of you who didn't know me then, it was a lot more often than you probably think). Lately it's been something I do when I'm bored (rarely) and not actually something I look forward to anymore. I think I finally figured out why.
This morning I asked one of my friends if I would like Left 4 Dead. Instead of, "yeah" or "no" (the obvious answers) I got a disdainful look and a remark about how my PC probably couldn't play it (by the way, it can- it's not THAT old... yeesh.). It's not just this particular person in general, but it pretty much characterizes how most of my college friends feel about me playing video games. "oh look, Beth is trying to fit in again, how cute."
...
I don't think they realize how much it frustrates/angers/saddens me to the point where if I were to get something that I would play regularly, I don't feel comfortable telling any of them about it. So what, I'm not obsessed. Never was. But last time I checked, that doesn't mean I can't play at all.
And it just so happens that killing zombies may be up my alley. How would I know? I've never tried. I'm too self-conscious to do so.
I feel like if I get this game, I'm going to look like a poser trying to fit in with my friends that play video games (so... about 2/3 of them). But why should I not, if it's something I genuinely want to try? Not telling them would be the best option for me, however impossible given my circumstances.