St. Patrick's Day!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

And yay for spring break! I've gotten an opportunity to re-learn LaTeX all over again, which has been interesting. Tonight I celebrated St. Patrick's day with some very good friends, and later ended out at the bar with another one of them. Green beer ftw!
It's about that time where I get super sleepy though, goodnight everyone!

VD awareness

Yay for Valentine's day festivities. While most people went out, I spent the night studying- along with probably the rest of my Chem E class... No fear, Matt and I spent the next day "celebrating".
We had a good night- I mean, free New York strips can't be too terrible, right? And seriously, our dinner was $2.00 because I got lemonade instead of water, thanks to the gift certificates that I had acquired through my parents.
The rest of the night was spent playing the new Monopoly game that I got him (onyx edition! classy) and then crying all over him. I'm not going to go into details here.
He gave me a really sweet T-shirt, it has a train on the front and it says "I choo choo choose you". It's probably my new favorite shirt.
The next day was spent studying/grocery shopping and at an Awkward dance that one of my good friends planned. Afterwards, we all went over to Matt's apartment and watched one of his roommates play video games under the influence (it was his 21st birthday). Albeit hilarious, I felt that the night would have been more amusing watching him walk around, which was also entertaining when he did. I got a little more drunk than I intended, there is a weird phenomenon where I can't seem to tell how inebriated I am when I'm sitting, which I found last night. I also realize that I am somewhat of a cheap drunk-after 2 drinks I was wasted. I'll contribute that to my turtle-like metabolism (thanks for that one, parents). Strangely, again I woke up without hangover after having done nothing to prevent such an occurance.
As long as I was entertaining, I really don't care too much, I guess.

First Weekend

College started Tuesday. Things have been so hectic here, but they always are at the beginning of each new semester. I already have homework, which sucks, but fortunately it is not due until Friday. Unfortunately I've already started it and am probably doing it wrong. Guess that's what study groups are for, huh?
Can't wait to get the new phone. I have a feeling it may be a POS, but I know it will probably be better than a motorola anything. Yay Samsung.
Matt's been back a week, and I'm thrilled. Unfortunately, I already feel like I'm annoying him and his roommates.
Went to a frat party last night, they had a slip-n-slide. We were invited to the one that they will have next weekend (also with slip-n-slide). If I wasn't going to Hibbing... I wanted to get drunk really badly. Maybe next weekend. I always feel so awkward saying stuff like that. But it's fun. Matt is against it most of the time, which also makes me feel guilty for doing anything.
A lot of my friends are really hot/cold on the issue. On one day they'll say "yeah! let's go!" and then the next day they tell me that I should watch out, take someone with me, scary this, scary that, "I don't get drunk", "i don't want to go", etc. And yes, I know a lot of it is atmosphere. Maybe we'll see more when more of us turn 21.
I'm afraid that one day I'll look back on college and be like "gee, I wish I'd had a little more fun". Not that I don't. Its just that most of the time everyone is so damn serious.
Speaking of 'fun', there was a LAN party tonight that I attended. dramadramadramadramadrama.... and everyone gets so TENSE. How is that fun? really. It was fun to see people and everything, and play HALO (and suck at it!), but half of the people I talked to were in a pissy mood at some point in the night. And how fun is it to talk to people in pissy moods?
I guess my point is that one's mood reflects upon one's surroundings. How many people can be happy in a room where someone is crying? Extreme example, I know.
Tired. need sleep. Take it easy.

Emo?

I just got my cartilage pierced. I'm kind of a huge fan right now, at least its distracting me a little.
Emo is such a strong word- angst maybe? Sorry if I don't have much to smile about, there is a lot of my life thats pretty screwed up right now. It wouldn't be so bad if it was just one thing, but doesn't it always seem that troubles come in hordes?
I also need to stop complaining. Buck up little soldier! God, I miss my father right now.
Saw the Simpson's movie tonight, I've seen a lot of movies over the past week- it seems the choice thing to do nowadays. It was very funny.
Parking is very close to being settled. Happy.
I've seen a lot of my friends lately too. Double happy. So happy to have them here. It will be more awesome when they're all here. Soon!
I'm going on vacation next week, starting Wednesday. In just a few days. I really need it right now, I think. But then again, who doesn't right now? I think I would be happier if I could just stay in Des Moines the whole time with Matt, but then I wouldn't get to see my extended family. I'm really glad he's coming, even if that means I have to go down to Iowa and get him. That drive is getting a little old, though.
I can't believe its almost August already. It seems like time flies by so quickly. I can't believe that I'll be 21 in about 3 months. Not like its going to change much, haha. I feel like I'm a bad influence on a few of my friends, though. I got Tyler to drink for the first time last night, now I can only think 'what have I done?' At least he had fun, I think. He wants to do it again, so it must not have been too terrible. I think Dan has drank before, so I don't feel so bad. And it was his beer haha. Alcohol makes people say things they shouldn't, and I did. At least the reaction was the same, and I probably learned some things I normally wouldn't have.
At least it wasn't too awkward today.

Thoughts

Memorial Day weekend- awesome.

I can't believed I helped move him farther away from me. I can't believe he's stayed with me for so long and is not sick of me yet. Everyone gets sick of me. Even me.

Bored. Bored. Booooorrrreeedddd. Read a book. no. okay.

I can't tell if they love me or despise me at work. Depends on the day and what data I give them- not cool. I should just work for the other people and take the raise. I guess it wasn't an official job offer, but I know what they get paid there. Its more than what I'm getting now, and God knows I kind of need the money right now to dig myself out of this hole I put myself in.

Why can't I like being a miner- at least I would be able to live at home. At home people like me.

Why can't I stop complaining???

Need. alcohol. now. of the golden draft variety. you know what I'm talking about Trav. And now I feel like an alcoholic. Or just stressed and need to chill in less destructive ways.

I miss him. I am worried about him too. hes alone. At least in New Ulm he was with his family. Strange feeling though. I'm so proud of him I could burst. I'm so happy for him. This is a huge step in his career. Kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, in a way. To be sooo independent... new state, job, apt all to oneself. I guess he didn't want this all but it was thrust upon him anyway. So proud that he's stepped up to the plate and taken it all in, in stride and with a smile upon his face. So proud. Such a nice smile too...

Two of my best friends are engaged. so happy for them. They will have really cute kids that I am going to spoil, even though they are not related to me by blood.

Looked up Greyhound bus tickets. So expensive. How do they sleep at night? It might even be cheaper to fly. Ok thats an exaggeration. But I could go to Des Moines and back at least twice and it would still be cheaper than going Greyhound. What a ripoff.

Worried about C. Can't be easy. Worried about Nic too- geez that must be tough. The separation will end before you know it. just hang in there. I'm rooting for you guys, and I know you can make it.

Why would there be steps leading down into the river in Des Moines? Boof you never called me back to tell me. Am now sad.

Burnt my finger on a plate. Ow. I take Advil.

I see Stonich tomorrow, probably. Feel bad that I took so long to get back to him. Maybe I will talk to him about moving back to Hibbing, maybe not. Doesn't seem right what he did to his parents- leaving them for his biological parents within a week or two of being contacted by them. Apparently he just .. left. one day. That would suck to be his parents.

well, guess that's enough mind rambles for a night- if you are bored give me a jingle! chances are I am too.

home again

Today I finally started to re-organize my pictures on my wall, at least so that I could include less of Jon and me together. Anyone that knows me well at all knows that I am somewhat of an amateur photographer, of people anyway. In other words, I love to take pictures. The reason I mention this now is so that you understand that I have many other pictures to choose from to fill my albums and frames. I only got one frame done, but it was the one with the most pictures of us together, the one of my friends at formal dances, in fact I just did the entire collage over, I was kind of sick of the old pictures anyway. This gave me a chance to really look at my old albums. Its frightening how one changes over a span of four years. I looked at the only picture that I have in print from my first formal dance- it is of me and my date, Grant who is now probably one of the best friends that I have- and I compared it to a picture from prom. I pretty much look the same, but everyone around me had changed. Comparing these two pictures made me wonder if I am really going through life or if it is passing me by.
Perfect example: I drank (alcohol) for the first time on New Years Eve. Well, it was not the first time that I drank, but it was definitely the first time that I did it in a party setting. Yeah, I realize that there are some people that do not drink their whole lives, or only with dinner, etc. These are also people that have morals or ethics against social drinking. I have no such morals or ethics- I definitely believe that once in a while drinking is okay (not every weekend but on holidays and such it’s a good thing). Therefore maybe I was missing out in high school a little. I am also a better person for it I realize: my grades were too important to me in high school to afford myself any slack. Now though, I am in college and studying seems to be just as important.
This made me realize that coming from a small town has influenced my views on controversial topics such as drinking and sex. To put it bluntly, there just isn’t much else to do here. I’m still a virgin, but this also makes me wonder if I am missing out in this too. I know very few virgins any more, especially since college has started. I know that this won’t spur me to run to the first willing male and whip out a beer and off my clothes, but it seems that people that have spent their lives in the city are less likely to do these things. I could be wrong too.
This makes me want to go back to college so much more than I already do. College is so much different than high school ever was. For one thing I am no longer under my parents discretion. I know they mean well but they don’t understand me and probably never will, only because I wont let them. They analyze my every move and criticize anything I say, do, or the way I look. I appreciate their honesty but not their attention- I would rather live life in the background. I also get less privacy here. Perfect example: my mom has walked into my room (without knocking) at least three times in the past five minutes wondering what I am typing. God, I can’t wait to leave.
College is also without cliques. At least, whatever clique-ige there is, it is not as noticeable as it was for high school. I went to a hockey game a few nights ago and I noticed a group of people that graduated with me sitting in their usual spot. I was initially too afraid to speak to them, just like high school, but I eventually sucked it up- I thought that maybe they liked the non-clique-ness of college as much as I did and might have just said hello back because I was a fellow HHS graduate. I was very wrong. What makes me angry about this is that I was initially afraid of them, obviously I am the better person here, and it also made me pity them, that they will never be able to recognize or create a new friendship unless forced into it. They will fail at the important things in life and I fear that most of my graduating class will lead unhappy lives according to my definition of it. I am sad for them.
I came back ‘citified’. I am surprised how quickly it happened. Last night Krysti and I went to the new Caribou Coffee here (it opened a few days ago) and were not impressed. The fact that we know how a Caribou Coffee is run scares me. The people behind the counter weren’t even yelling out our orders or anything. I think my citification happened so quickly because I hate high school and Hibbing and everything in it. Except for my friends of course.
On a lighter note, classes start again in about two weeks, so I really don’t have that much left of break. Unfortunately it seems that everyone else goes back on the 9th (in about a week) so that there will be an awkward week where I really don’t have much to do while everyone else will be out being productive with their lives.