Memorial Day weekend- awesome.
I can't believed I helped move him farther away from me. I can't believe he's stayed with me for so long and is not sick of me yet. Everyone gets sick of me. Even me.
Bored. Bored. Booooorrrreeedddd. Read a book. no. okay.
I can't tell if they love me or despise me at work. Depends on the day and what data I give them- not cool. I should just work for the other people and take the raise. I guess it wasn't an official job offer, but I know what they get paid there. Its more than what I'm getting now, and God knows I kind of need the money right now to dig myself out of this hole I put myself in.
Why can't I like being a miner- at least I would be able to live at home. At home people like me.
Why can't I stop complaining???
Need. alcohol. now. of the golden draft variety. you know what I'm talking about Trav. And now I feel like an alcoholic. Or just stressed and need to chill in less destructive ways.
I miss him. I am worried about him too. hes alone. At least in New Ulm he was with his family. Strange feeling though. I'm so proud of him I could burst. I'm so happy for him. This is a huge step in his career. Kind of a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, in a way. To be sooo independent... new state, job, apt all to oneself. I guess he didn't want this all but it was thrust upon him anyway. So proud that he's stepped up to the plate and taken it all in, in stride and with a smile upon his face. So proud. Such a nice smile too...
Two of my best friends are engaged. so happy for them. They will have really cute kids that I am going to spoil, even though they are not related to me by blood.
Looked up Greyhound bus tickets. So expensive. How do they sleep at night? It might even be cheaper to fly. Ok thats an exaggeration. But I could go to Des Moines and back at least twice and it would still be cheaper than going Greyhound. What a ripoff.
Worried about C. Can't be easy. Worried about Nic too- geez that must be tough. The separation will end before you know it. just hang in there. I'm rooting for you guys, and I know you can make it.
Why would there be steps leading down into the river in Des Moines? Boof you never called me back to tell me. Am now sad.
Burnt my finger on a plate. Ow. I take Advil.
I see Stonich tomorrow, probably. Feel bad that I took so long to get back to him. Maybe I will talk to him about moving back to Hibbing, maybe not. Doesn't seem right what he did to his parents- leaving them for his biological parents within a week or two of being contacted by them. Apparently he just .. left. one day. That would suck to be his parents.
well, guess that's enough mind rambles for a night- if you are bored give me a jingle! chances are I am too.
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Monday, April 23, 2007
Mind Rambles
This semester has gone by way too fast.
I mean, I'm going to be so so happy to be finally finished with organic, (except that silly lab), but I'm not going to be so happy when Matt moves to Iowa. Gee, this all sounds SO familiar.
He also wonders why I cry sometimes when he talks about it.
Yeah, I'm not in the worst circumstance, I know. And again, if you are reading this and are suffering from a worse circumstance than I, I just don't want to hear it right now. It will just make me feel worse. I also realize that this is very selfish of me on several levels.
I should be happy for him, shouldn't I? I shouldn't let my experiences with Jon color my judgment. This will all end in three months, I can make it that long. Three things I keep telling myself. They seem to help less and less each time I hear them.
Don't get me wrong. I am happy for him. Ecstatic. He is so amazing and totally deserves this job, not to mention its something he might actually want to do. The fact that its in Iowa shouldn't matter, but it does somehow. One bright side to things: I've never actually been to Iowa. Jon and I parted ways before I ever got a chance to see him at ISU, and I haven't really had an inclination to go since. Thinking of Jon, its been too long since I've seen him, I would like to keep him as a friend.
I just hope to be working my ass off so that I barely have time to sleep/eat much less relax and think about him. Several good things will come of this- I will have lots of money, and I won't think about him. Speaking of money, having some would be nice right now.
Why is it that everything all happens at once?
Life seems like a sine wave with a long period. There's ups and downs, but once you get through them, there is a period of slow stability that you use to get over what just happened.
Yes. I am a nerd.
This weekend was a complete nerd-fest for me, which is always a good thing imho. Relay for Life was kind of a life-changing event, and I got to get to know some people that I haven't had time to speak with. The luminaria ceremony almost made me cry, which used to say something, until Matt turned me into a blubbering idiot. I think others crying makes me cry the most, it hurts me to see others in pain. Weird trait of mine, I guess.
Next night was the IT ball, which was also a jar of fun. I like getting dressed up, it kind of reminds me that I can actually be kind of pretty once in a while. I'm also glad that my roommate came, I'll admit I would probably have been lonely without my best friend there.
Today I went to church, its been a while. I really felt it when I came back, even if it was a catholic mass. Somehow, I always feel like I'm not really accepted there. I know I am, and even the Priest would probably tell me I am. Its just a weird feeling that isn't going to escape me, no matter how many masses I go to. I still hold that its better than the reborn Christian theme that seems to permeate the protestant services. At least the ones I've been to. C says her church is not that bad, maybe this summer we can go together.
I understand people like the reborn Christian services. Somehow singing Christian pop ballads doesn't constitute a service song for me. It seems more like something you would sing by yourself in your car. And it doesn't make me feel any closer to Jesus singing it. If that's your style, by all means go for it, and don't let anyone stop you. I just ask the same respect. If you are reading this and are offended, chances are you know me- talk to me in person and we can discuss this further.
Another thing I am looking forward to at the close of this semester (besides lack of organic, of course) is the amazing summer I'm going to spend with my three roommates (for next fall), and all of the people I have yet to meet.
I mean, I'm going to be so so happy to be finally finished with organic, (except that silly lab), but I'm not going to be so happy when Matt moves to Iowa. Gee, this all sounds SO familiar.
He also wonders why I cry sometimes when he talks about it.
Yeah, I'm not in the worst circumstance, I know. And again, if you are reading this and are suffering from a worse circumstance than I, I just don't want to hear it right now. It will just make me feel worse. I also realize that this is very selfish of me on several levels.
I should be happy for him, shouldn't I? I shouldn't let my experiences with Jon color my judgment. This will all end in three months, I can make it that long. Three things I keep telling myself. They seem to help less and less each time I hear them.
Don't get me wrong. I am happy for him. Ecstatic. He is so amazing and totally deserves this job, not to mention its something he might actually want to do. The fact that its in Iowa shouldn't matter, but it does somehow. One bright side to things: I've never actually been to Iowa. Jon and I parted ways before I ever got a chance to see him at ISU, and I haven't really had an inclination to go since. Thinking of Jon, its been too long since I've seen him, I would like to keep him as a friend.
I just hope to be working my ass off so that I barely have time to sleep/eat much less relax and think about him. Several good things will come of this- I will have lots of money, and I won't think about him. Speaking of money, having some would be nice right now.
Why is it that everything all happens at once?
Life seems like a sine wave with a long period. There's ups and downs, but once you get through them, there is a period of slow stability that you use to get over what just happened.
Yes. I am a nerd.
This weekend was a complete nerd-fest for me, which is always a good thing imho. Relay for Life was kind of a life-changing event, and I got to get to know some people that I haven't had time to speak with. The luminaria ceremony almost made me cry, which used to say something, until Matt turned me into a blubbering idiot. I think others crying makes me cry the most, it hurts me to see others in pain. Weird trait of mine, I guess.
Next night was the IT ball, which was also a jar of fun. I like getting dressed up, it kind of reminds me that I can actually be kind of pretty once in a while. I'm also glad that my roommate came, I'll admit I would probably have been lonely without my best friend there.
Today I went to church, its been a while. I really felt it when I came back, even if it was a catholic mass. Somehow, I always feel like I'm not really accepted there. I know I am, and even the Priest would probably tell me I am. Its just a weird feeling that isn't going to escape me, no matter how many masses I go to. I still hold that its better than the reborn Christian theme that seems to permeate the protestant services. At least the ones I've been to. C says her church is not that bad, maybe this summer we can go together.
I understand people like the reborn Christian services. Somehow singing Christian pop ballads doesn't constitute a service song for me. It seems more like something you would sing by yourself in your car. And it doesn't make me feel any closer to Jesus singing it. If that's your style, by all means go for it, and don't let anyone stop you. I just ask the same respect. If you are reading this and are offended, chances are you know me- talk to me in person and we can discuss this further.
Another thing I am looking forward to at the close of this semester (besides lack of organic, of course) is the amazing summer I'm going to spend with my three roommates (for next fall), and all of the people I have yet to meet.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Bomb Threat
In the middle of organic chemistry, learning about... well... organic-y-stuff, a police officer barges in and interrupts my lecturer's speech, saying that the building was being evacuated and that we were all to leave. Best day of O.Chem in my life.
In a panic, the class emptied and I probably did the worst thing imaginable-I called my mom. She tends to worry, and this didn't help. woopsie. I believe her advice was something along the lines of 'make sure to travel in crowds and always keep lots of people around you'. I realized she was talking about shrapnel.
I thought the whole thing was a drill up until they told us that we could not even be in the vicinity of the building- then I headed towards the grad students that I do research with. I figured they would at least tell them what is going on. Turns out that they knew a little more than I did- that there was in fact a bomb threat and the whole side of the mall was being evacuated because of it (7 buildings!). Rumors are that Smith was the main target, which scares me. I can't imagine how many bottles of toxic chemicals are in that building.
I guess I kind of expected something like this to happen, especially after the Virginia Tech shootings. I never would have expected it to happen here, though.
All the hype is scaring me, in a weird way. I am used to bomb threats, albeit not in this magnitude, yet I am still a bit freaked out. Probably too much nastiness that has occurred over this past week. First Virginia Tech, a few other nasty things, and now this.
God, be with those in Virginia, and if you have some spare time save the creep who did this.
In a panic, the class emptied and I probably did the worst thing imaginable-I called my mom. She tends to worry, and this didn't help. woopsie. I believe her advice was something along the lines of 'make sure to travel in crowds and always keep lots of people around you'. I realized she was talking about shrapnel.
I thought the whole thing was a drill up until they told us that we could not even be in the vicinity of the building- then I headed towards the grad students that I do research with. I figured they would at least tell them what is going on. Turns out that they knew a little more than I did- that there was in fact a bomb threat and the whole side of the mall was being evacuated because of it (7 buildings!). Rumors are that Smith was the main target, which scares me. I can't imagine how many bottles of toxic chemicals are in that building.
I guess I kind of expected something like this to happen, especially after the Virginia Tech shootings. I never would have expected it to happen here, though.
All the hype is scaring me, in a weird way. I am used to bomb threats, albeit not in this magnitude, yet I am still a bit freaked out. Probably too much nastiness that has occurred over this past week. First Virginia Tech, a few other nasty things, and now this.
God, be with those in Virginia, and if you have some spare time save the creep who did this.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
On the Elevator
This totally almost ruined my day.
After walking back in the cold wind talking to a good friend and not looking forward to going to work, I got on the elevator and pushed the floor that I lived on. Besides my friend and I, a douchebag on a cell phone saunters on, as douchebags do, and pushes 2.
2?!
I could have kicked the lazy piece of crap, but in retrospect I believe glaring at him the whole way up was a better alternative.
I also understand, if you live on two and are physically disabled, or are carrying a heavy package, that elevator use is very practical. This person did not fit the above qualifications. hence: douchebag. And here's the hooker: (as one of my favorite professors once said) as we were riding in the elevator up ONE floor, he looked at me as if to say "what?"
He must be from Carlson.
After walking back in the cold wind talking to a good friend and not looking forward to going to work, I got on the elevator and pushed the floor that I lived on. Besides my friend and I, a douchebag on a cell phone saunters on, as douchebags do, and pushes 2.
2?!
I could have kicked the lazy piece of crap, but in retrospect I believe glaring at him the whole way up was a better alternative.
I also understand, if you live on two and are physically disabled, or are carrying a heavy package, that elevator use is very practical. This person did not fit the above qualifications. hence: douchebag. And here's the hooker: (as one of my favorite professors once said) as we were riding in the elevator up ONE floor, he looked at me as if to say "what?"
He must be from Carlson.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Vagabond Pineapple
Vagabond Pineapple. One of my better aliases. MSN generated, but Beth approved.
Yay for college. Again, sorry its been a while. Life seems to have caught up with me and drug me along with it just like my dad drags me along in the boat when I go tubing.
I'm getting really sick of living here. The apartment next year shall be grand. I need a change of pace or something. Preferably slower.
Speaking of the apartment- I am very excited. To be able to have my own kitchen... well... one I share with three other girls anyway. To be able to come home late... and still be able to eat! To have non-UDS food. To decorate for holidays. To make our own rules. To go grocery shopping for things that aren't soup and water. To be able to decorate in general. To have a teeny bit more space. To live with the best girls that I've met down here. minus a few, of course- I mean, who would want to live in an apartment of 8 people? that's outrageous!
We originally applied for a five person apartment. In early November. We finally heard back in late January, only to hear that we didn't get it. However, one of our friends that applied after we did got a five person apartment. How does this work? I don't know. So now we had to pretty much leave one girl stranded and downsize. The only fortunate thing about this is that she will be studying abroad next spring, and would only need the apartment for fall semester. I still feel terrible about this, and the future landlady I've tried to contact will not answer my questions on the matter.
Then again, I guess I've never really lived life all that slowly. Looking back at high school I don't really regret not having time for myself, however. I guess it made the bad parts pass all that more quickly. I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had more time.
I miss my friends in Hibbing.
I'm going to California in a month! Having never been outside the midwest, one of my life goals is to see the ocean. Perhaps one day I will make a list of things to do before I die, but that seems so mortal and gloomy. California is going to be very exciting. Just buying the ticket I got an adrenaline rush comparable to finishing my last final of a semester.
Speaking of class in one semester I will never take chemistry or math again. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. Also- next semester, I will wish that I did have to take math or physics again because its apparently super difficult.
I am thoroughly enjoying the internship, on the other hand. I know why I want to be a chemical engineer. I think its the work environment.
Took a trip to New Ulm this past weekend. We surprised Michael (his younger brother) and brought him to St. Paul to see one of his favorite wrestlers. Driving 400 miles was totally worth the surprised look on Michael's face. Also- I think its important that he would be able to meet one of his idols. Living in the boonies as I did growing up, I was never able to actually meet a celebrity until I went to the warped tour after 11th grade. Yeah, admitting to have met the types of celebrities I liked then would be an embarrassment now, but then it would have mattered a big deal to me.
Have to get my license plate tags renewed. Have no idea where to do that. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll ask the guys in the lab. They're grad students. Married (most). and probably have vehicles.
Its been a year with Matt. An amazing year, so much has happened. I won't drone on lest I make everyone ill.
Driving home over winter break, it started to snow. Because it was the first time it had really snowed this winter, at first I was happy, then sad to realize that I would be driving through it. I love to watch snow fall. Anyway, while driving, I noticed a huge patch of I-35 S was closed off. A few miles later- I saw a semi in the ditch, the front half slightly mangled. A tire in the middle of the road. and a black pancake. I think it used to be a car- was then about 3 feet high. If they lived it would have been a miracle. Its kind of like I saw someone die. but not really. So I said a quick prayer for the souls of the victims of the accident. kind of a morbid thought- thats probably the closest I've been to God recently.
and it made me kind of sad.
Yay for college. Again, sorry its been a while. Life seems to have caught up with me and drug me along with it just like my dad drags me along in the boat when I go tubing.
I'm getting really sick of living here. The apartment next year shall be grand. I need a change of pace or something. Preferably slower.
Speaking of the apartment- I am very excited. To be able to have my own kitchen... well... one I share with three other girls anyway. To be able to come home late... and still be able to eat! To have non-UDS food. To decorate for holidays. To make our own rules. To go grocery shopping for things that aren't soup and water. To be able to decorate in general. To have a teeny bit more space. To live with the best girls that I've met down here. minus a few, of course- I mean, who would want to live in an apartment of 8 people? that's outrageous!
We originally applied for a five person apartment. In early November. We finally heard back in late January, only to hear that we didn't get it. However, one of our friends that applied after we did got a five person apartment. How does this work? I don't know. So now we had to pretty much leave one girl stranded and downsize. The only fortunate thing about this is that she will be studying abroad next spring, and would only need the apartment for fall semester. I still feel terrible about this, and the future landlady I've tried to contact will not answer my questions on the matter.
Then again, I guess I've never really lived life all that slowly. Looking back at high school I don't really regret not having time for myself, however. I guess it made the bad parts pass all that more quickly. I probably wouldn't know what to do with myself if I had more time.
I miss my friends in Hibbing.
I'm going to California in a month! Having never been outside the midwest, one of my life goals is to see the ocean. Perhaps one day I will make a list of things to do before I die, but that seems so mortal and gloomy. California is going to be very exciting. Just buying the ticket I got an adrenaline rush comparable to finishing my last final of a semester.
Speaking of class in one semester I will never take chemistry or math again. I cannot tell you how happy this makes me. Also- next semester, I will wish that I did have to take math or physics again because its apparently super difficult.
I am thoroughly enjoying the internship, on the other hand. I know why I want to be a chemical engineer. I think its the work environment.
Took a trip to New Ulm this past weekend. We surprised Michael (his younger brother) and brought him to St. Paul to see one of his favorite wrestlers. Driving 400 miles was totally worth the surprised look on Michael's face. Also- I think its important that he would be able to meet one of his idols. Living in the boonies as I did growing up, I was never able to actually meet a celebrity until I went to the warped tour after 11th grade. Yeah, admitting to have met the types of celebrities I liked then would be an embarrassment now, but then it would have mattered a big deal to me.
Have to get my license plate tags renewed. Have no idea where to do that. Wish me luck. Maybe I'll ask the guys in the lab. They're grad students. Married (most). and probably have vehicles.
Its been a year with Matt. An amazing year, so much has happened. I won't drone on lest I make everyone ill.
Driving home over winter break, it started to snow. Because it was the first time it had really snowed this winter, at first I was happy, then sad to realize that I would be driving through it. I love to watch snow fall. Anyway, while driving, I noticed a huge patch of I-35 S was closed off. A few miles later- I saw a semi in the ditch, the front half slightly mangled. A tire in the middle of the road. and a black pancake. I think it used to be a car- was then about 3 feet high. If they lived it would have been a miracle. Its kind of like I saw someone die. but not really. So I said a quick prayer for the souls of the victims of the accident. kind of a morbid thought- thats probably the closest I've been to God recently.
and it made me kind of sad.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
oopsies
Happy Thanksgiving! I guess it's been a while since my last update. The semester is almost over, and its been a very busy one for me. Fortunately I'm still surviving and probably doing the best I've ever done in college. Trust me, I'm not getting used to it.
Fred, my younger brother, is engaged to his girlfriend of 3? years. Its very exciting but somewhat scary, considering that hes younger than I. I get used to it a little more every day, and I kind of figured it would happen eventually. I'm really happy for him though, she is really a great person and he's lucky to have her. I think he knows it too.
Work is going awesome, I'm still at the internship. I don't get in as many hours as I would like to, but a general update on what is going on is always nice. Plus I like the spending money.
I'm really sick of staying in the dorms. I'm ready to be OUT. Getting my bathroom cleaned for me is nice, however. Eating UDS everyday, not so much. There are five of us, myself included, that want to get an apartment together. Unfortunately, most apartments are for four people. We found apartments that will take five people but the one we want to get into has only five potentially available apartments. I pray that we get one, otherwise we have to resort to plan B which sounds like we will have to kick one person out or find another person or something to that extent and get two rooms. That doesn't sound like fun, imo. I just hope this works out.
I'm really excited to move out of here. I asked for a toaster for Christmas, I'm that excited. Living a yell away from all the guys, I'll definitely miss though.
I figured out that I'm paying about $1000 a month to live here, food and board. $600 is rent, understandable given that its pretty much downtown Minneapolis and on campus. $400 for food?!?! wtf. plus it sucks hardcore.
I figure you can probably feed four or five on about $200 a month... good estimate?
Matt and I are doing wonderful. there really isn't much to comment on other than that. Well, and I don't know what to get him for Christmas. I guess I have a little less than a month to figure it out.
I made him a pie. I'm so proud of myself. So homey. And I can show off my baking skills- hey, i can't make dinner but I'm pretty damn good at dessert.
well, anything with a recipe anyway.
That's all for now, take it easy... and happy belated Turkey Day!
Fred, my younger brother, is engaged to his girlfriend of 3? years. Its very exciting but somewhat scary, considering that hes younger than I. I get used to it a little more every day, and I kind of figured it would happen eventually. I'm really happy for him though, she is really a great person and he's lucky to have her. I think he knows it too.
Work is going awesome, I'm still at the internship. I don't get in as many hours as I would like to, but a general update on what is going on is always nice. Plus I like the spending money.
I'm really sick of staying in the dorms. I'm ready to be OUT. Getting my bathroom cleaned for me is nice, however. Eating UDS everyday, not so much. There are five of us, myself included, that want to get an apartment together. Unfortunately, most apartments are for four people. We found apartments that will take five people but the one we want to get into has only five potentially available apartments. I pray that we get one, otherwise we have to resort to plan B which sounds like we will have to kick one person out or find another person or something to that extent and get two rooms. That doesn't sound like fun, imo. I just hope this works out.
I'm really excited to move out of here. I asked for a toaster for Christmas, I'm that excited. Living a yell away from all the guys, I'll definitely miss though.
I figured out that I'm paying about $1000 a month to live here, food and board. $600 is rent, understandable given that its pretty much downtown Minneapolis and on campus. $400 for food?!?! wtf. plus it sucks hardcore.
I figure you can probably feed four or five on about $200 a month... good estimate?
Matt and I are doing wonderful. there really isn't much to comment on other than that. Well, and I don't know what to get him for Christmas. I guess I have a little less than a month to figure it out.
I made him a pie. I'm so proud of myself. So homey. And I can show off my baking skills- hey, i can't make dinner but I'm pretty damn good at dessert.
well, anything with a recipe anyway.
That's all for now, take it easy... and happy belated Turkey Day!
Monday, August 21, 2006
College is around the corner
I can't wait to move back to college. I'm ready for a change of pace.
What is very annoying is that I had a long well-thought-out rant on pretty much everything for the past two weeks. and then my hand hit my mouse pad on my laptop and navigated away from the page and I lost everything. Now I can't remember anything I typed before.
I was able to go to Hibbing last weekend. I find that the more I am away from the place the more I miss it. I might actually look forward to going back one day. It was nice to see my parents and brother and old friends. Matt Stonich, a friend of mine, leaves for the Air Force soon. He plans on driving jets, I wish him luck and safeness, and I will definitely worry for him, just like I do with Nosie (Navy). I was able to see Grant for the first time this summer, I have had bad timing every other time I've been home. I played guitar hero on the PS2 and it was as amazing as I have heard it could be.
Krysti transferred to UND from the U of MN. Man, am I going to miss her. I hope she does well, and I know she will in whatever she chooses to do.
Grant only has one year left and then he is done with school for good, it sounds like. Good for him, albeit a little scary that my friends are starting to finish their schooling. Trav starts his first year this year, I am so happy for him. Erica and Herrboldt are doing the HCC thing again for another year, and it sounds like my brother's girlfriend will be taking the year off. Good luck to them all, however I miss them too much.
Trav and Erica saw me a few weeks ago- we went to Valleyfair and the Mall of America. Matt came up from New Ulm and went too. It was overall a great weekend, but I think I'm starting to get a little old for Valleyfair. Even though I've only been there twice now. Matt and I had a caricature done. It ended up turning out really cute, the person drawing it had really bright blue eyes. His name was Antwon, he was amazing, and Matt and I are positive the caricature was worth staring at Antwon draw.
Work is fine, I can't complain. Apparently I work too much, personally I think I can't work enough. I will be able to keep the job over the school year, so we will see how the semester goes. Maybe I will sleep on weekends...
Living here over the summer has made me realize two things about myself: I should get married one day, and I probably shouldn't live in a large city. Having Mike's house completely to myself for pretty much two weeks made me so lonely and depressed. I don't like the feeling, and it made me realize that I need companionship. I definitely wouldn't want to live in a large city because people drive like idiots. This and everyone is packed into every nook and cranny like sardines. I'm sorry, I really need my space. I don't like people that much. When I want to go shopping I don't want twelve other people staring over my shoulder. When I go to work and drive 20 miles on a freeway, it shouldn't take 45 minutes. Yet these things happen in high population areas. Therefore, one day I will leave and live in a smaller town. Probably about the size of Duluth. I like Duluth.
As for the rest of my life, it goes by as usual. I miss Matt entirely too much, I can't wait to see all of my friends again, and I can't wait to see my parents this weekend when my brother moves into his apartment in St.Paul. And I want to see Snakes on a Plane. I don't care how cheesy it is.
What is very annoying is that I had a long well-thought-out rant on pretty much everything for the past two weeks. and then my hand hit my mouse pad on my laptop and navigated away from the page and I lost everything. Now I can't remember anything I typed before.
I was able to go to Hibbing last weekend. I find that the more I am away from the place the more I miss it. I might actually look forward to going back one day. It was nice to see my parents and brother and old friends. Matt Stonich, a friend of mine, leaves for the Air Force soon. He plans on driving jets, I wish him luck and safeness, and I will definitely worry for him, just like I do with Nosie (Navy). I was able to see Grant for the first time this summer, I have had bad timing every other time I've been home. I played guitar hero on the PS2 and it was as amazing as I have heard it could be.
Krysti transferred to UND from the U of MN. Man, am I going to miss her. I hope she does well, and I know she will in whatever she chooses to do.
Grant only has one year left and then he is done with school for good, it sounds like. Good for him, albeit a little scary that my friends are starting to finish their schooling. Trav starts his first year this year, I am so happy for him. Erica and Herrboldt are doing the HCC thing again for another year, and it sounds like my brother's girlfriend will be taking the year off. Good luck to them all, however I miss them too much.
Trav and Erica saw me a few weeks ago- we went to Valleyfair and the Mall of America. Matt came up from New Ulm and went too. It was overall a great weekend, but I think I'm starting to get a little old for Valleyfair. Even though I've only been there twice now. Matt and I had a caricature done. It ended up turning out really cute, the person drawing it had really bright blue eyes. His name was Antwon, he was amazing, and Matt and I are positive the caricature was worth staring at Antwon draw.
Work is fine, I can't complain. Apparently I work too much, personally I think I can't work enough. I will be able to keep the job over the school year, so we will see how the semester goes. Maybe I will sleep on weekends...
Living here over the summer has made me realize two things about myself: I should get married one day, and I probably shouldn't live in a large city. Having Mike's house completely to myself for pretty much two weeks made me so lonely and depressed. I don't like the feeling, and it made me realize that I need companionship. I definitely wouldn't want to live in a large city because people drive like idiots. This and everyone is packed into every nook and cranny like sardines. I'm sorry, I really need my space. I don't like people that much. When I want to go shopping I don't want twelve other people staring over my shoulder. When I go to work and drive 20 miles on a freeway, it shouldn't take 45 minutes. Yet these things happen in high population areas. Therefore, one day I will leave and live in a smaller town. Probably about the size of Duluth. I like Duluth.
As for the rest of my life, it goes by as usual. I miss Matt entirely too much, I can't wait to see all of my friends again, and I can't wait to see my parents this weekend when my brother moves into his apartment in St.Paul. And I want to see Snakes on a Plane. I don't care how cheesy it is.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
i probably shouldnt be blogging now
here is a wonderful way to start a blog:
I'm tired, sad, and a little depressed.
Unfortunately, this is how I just started it. Matt left today to go home, I realize he lives there but I dont want him to leave me here, and I dont want to go there- I like my job too much.
There is a chance I will have my job through the school year. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but I guess I can make time for it, I've always been pretty good about doing that. With FVEM and research and now a job, who needs sleep anyway? It would be nice to see Matt and do other things once in a while too.
A quote my Dad always said that will always stick with me; "Buck up little soldier" and I'm not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing that I will always remember when he said that to me. I guess it puts a new face on things: you can't change it so stop crying about it.
I've been reading a few of my friends' blogs. They seem to have such sucky lives right now, reading them usually make me happy or take my mind off of current matters, but the ones I've been reading are so depressing- "which job should I quit?", "I am stupid", and "I have no free time" seem to be the main issues right now- and not by just one of my friends- all three of these are in different blogs by my friends. I have these issues too- I think everyone does. Some of them put themselves in these positions, and I can understand why, getting a well-paying good experience job is so rare at this stage in our lives we often have to take a few crappy ones. If one (or two in some cases) good jobs open up and offer positions one would have to be half retarded to not take them, unfortunately this also means retaining a job previously committed to or take both nice jobs offered. This situation has plagued at least four of my friends and I'm baffled. I guess I didn't realize such a situation could be so widespread.
I'm tired, sad, and a little depressed.
Unfortunately, this is how I just started it. Matt left today to go home, I realize he lives there but I dont want him to leave me here, and I dont want to go there- I like my job too much.
There is a chance I will have my job through the school year. Not sure how I feel about that yet, but I guess I can make time for it, I've always been pretty good about doing that. With FVEM and research and now a job, who needs sleep anyway? It would be nice to see Matt and do other things once in a while too.
A quote my Dad always said that will always stick with me; "Buck up little soldier" and I'm not sure if its a good thing or a bad thing that I will always remember when he said that to me. I guess it puts a new face on things: you can't change it so stop crying about it.
I've been reading a few of my friends' blogs. They seem to have such sucky lives right now, reading them usually make me happy or take my mind off of current matters, but the ones I've been reading are so depressing- "which job should I quit?", "I am stupid", and "I have no free time" seem to be the main issues right now- and not by just one of my friends- all three of these are in different blogs by my friends. I have these issues too- I think everyone does. Some of them put themselves in these positions, and I can understand why, getting a well-paying good experience job is so rare at this stage in our lives we often have to take a few crappy ones. If one (or two in some cases) good jobs open up and offer positions one would have to be half retarded to not take them, unfortunately this also means retaining a job previously committed to or take both nice jobs offered. This situation has plagued at least four of my friends and I'm baffled. I guess I didn't realize such a situation could be so widespread.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Ramblings
Summer is almost over, six weeks left.
I like Summer and everything, but I'm ready for school to start again. It really sucks when the ones you love most are at least 100 miles away. Oh yeah, thanks Bush. Gas prices SUCK.
How is it that I'm working my ass off 40+ hours a week and I find myself completely broke?
We set up a 18-foot tall crystallizer today. So many people tell me that my summer is 'more productive' than the rest of my classmates. How can they know? They don't know my classmates. I go to school with a crapload of fricking Einstein children. They probably read textbooks in their freetime.
I guess it depends on your definition of 'more productive'
Matt and I have been going out for six months. He bought me a necklace. Nobody has ever done that for me. Its from a jewlery store- I really really hope he didn't spend too much on me, I already figure its way more than I've spent on him. I know 'its not the gift its the thought' or whatever, but I feel really really guilty when there is such a huge price difference.
On a happy note, we have been able to see each other fairly regularily. It really has made the Summer pass more quickly. Time goes by too fast when I see him, though. I miss him now.
Cassi's wedding was pretty fun. The relatives kept asking me about Matt. Ellie came. I was ignored for the most part, less than usual however. My Uncle was concerned about underage drinking. I was wondering what he expected: Cassi just turned 20, all of her friends are 19/20, she has two younger sisters who also had friends there, her husband is 20, his friends are 20. The only legal ones there were my Aunts and Uncles and her older brother. Obviously underage drinking would be a problem.
It was really great to see relatives and everyone, but it was great to be back here too. This was the first time I've flown in a long time, and the first time by myself. It was an awesome experience, and I can't wait to do it again.
Trav and Erica are coming down to see me in a week and a half. I can't wait. I guess some other Hibbing-ites might come. I think if they do, we should look at hotel rooms. I would feel really bad if I had a mini-party here while the Kaedings were gone and trusting me with their house. If it was my own house I probably wouldn't have a problem with it. I barely know these people, and would feel really really bad if too many people stayed here- it just looks wrong. As if I'm having a party when I'm really not.
I like Summer and everything, but I'm ready for school to start again. It really sucks when the ones you love most are at least 100 miles away. Oh yeah, thanks Bush. Gas prices SUCK.
How is it that I'm working my ass off 40+ hours a week and I find myself completely broke?
We set up a 18-foot tall crystallizer today. So many people tell me that my summer is 'more productive' than the rest of my classmates. How can they know? They don't know my classmates. I go to school with a crapload of fricking Einstein children. They probably read textbooks in their freetime.
I guess it depends on your definition of 'more productive'
Matt and I have been going out for six months. He bought me a necklace. Nobody has ever done that for me. Its from a jewlery store- I really really hope he didn't spend too much on me, I already figure its way more than I've spent on him. I know 'its not the gift its the thought' or whatever, but I feel really really guilty when there is such a huge price difference.
On a happy note, we have been able to see each other fairly regularily. It really has made the Summer pass more quickly. Time goes by too fast when I see him, though. I miss him now.
Cassi's wedding was pretty fun. The relatives kept asking me about Matt. Ellie came. I was ignored for the most part, less than usual however. My Uncle was concerned about underage drinking. I was wondering what he expected: Cassi just turned 20, all of her friends are 19/20, she has two younger sisters who also had friends there, her husband is 20, his friends are 20. The only legal ones there were my Aunts and Uncles and her older brother. Obviously underage drinking would be a problem.
It was really great to see relatives and everyone, but it was great to be back here too. This was the first time I've flown in a long time, and the first time by myself. It was an awesome experience, and I can't wait to do it again.
Trav and Erica are coming down to see me in a week and a half. I can't wait. I guess some other Hibbing-ites might come. I think if they do, we should look at hotel rooms. I would feel really bad if I had a mini-party here while the Kaedings were gone and trusting me with their house. If it was my own house I probably wouldn't have a problem with it. I barely know these people, and would feel really really bad if too many people stayed here- it just looks wrong. As if I'm having a party when I'm really not.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Happy Fourth of July!
For the Fourth of July. I was fortunate to share a four day weekend with Matt in New Ulm. It was an amazing four days, I wish they would have lasted longer. Now I won't see him for a while, but I think I can make it even though I will miss him like crazy.
Last Thursday my best friend from elementary school came to visit me. Alice and I have kept our friendship going for over 12 years, even though I don't get to see her that often. Its pretty amazing when you only see a good friend every so often; as soon as you meet again its as if you never seperated. Sure, things are a little different now, but she and I will always be friends and its really amazing to think how long friendships can last if given time and comittment. She is interning at a resort in Brainerd, MN for the summer, hence her ability to come visit me. I wish I could go visit her but it is very hard to get away, and when I do I see either Matt or family in Hibbing. This was her first time in a large city, and I was able to show her around and show off my horrible driving skills. Seriously, I've never driven as bad as I did when she was in the car. (ick). After getting lost, we made it to he Mall of America and ate at Hooters- great chicken wings, by the way. HAHA. We both purchased T-Shirts and were then attacked by mall vendors trying to sell hand cream from the Dead Sea. Apparently, this happens all the time.
Friday I was able to see the Devil wears Prada with Laurie C Missy Adam David and Ellen, college friends. The movie was pretty good, despite the fact that we had to wait in Applebees for two hours because I have a serious inability to plan anything lately.
Saturday, I finally saw Matt. We spent the best weekend I've had in a long time together. The weather was warm, New Ulm is beautiful, and best of all, it was with him. I guess I sound pretty pathetic when I say I miss him already and it hasn't even been a day since I've seen him last. The worst part is that I started to cry when I left-how embarassing. Except for that part, I had a great time, and I can't wait to see him again, even though it will be at least three weeks from now. Fortunately this period of long distance will end, and it isn't so bad now anyway. At least he tries to see me...
I only regret not spending more time with my own family this weekend. It isn't a very big regret, either. Mom seemed sad that I was not coming home, but I think she understood. I will see them in a week and a half if not in a few days anyway. Cassie's wedding is so close-it suprised me how fast it came. That means that over half of the summer is over, a bittersweet idea. Summer will be over, but I will get to see more of my friends and more of Matt again.
Now I just need to figure out how to get by in an airport... yeesh.. wish me luck!
Last Thursday my best friend from elementary school came to visit me. Alice and I have kept our friendship going for over 12 years, even though I don't get to see her that often. Its pretty amazing when you only see a good friend every so often; as soon as you meet again its as if you never seperated. Sure, things are a little different now, but she and I will always be friends and its really amazing to think how long friendships can last if given time and comittment. She is interning at a resort in Brainerd, MN for the summer, hence her ability to come visit me. I wish I could go visit her but it is very hard to get away, and when I do I see either Matt or family in Hibbing. This was her first time in a large city, and I was able to show her around and show off my horrible driving skills. Seriously, I've never driven as bad as I did when she was in the car. (ick). After getting lost, we made it to he Mall of America and ate at Hooters- great chicken wings, by the way. HAHA. We both purchased T-Shirts and were then attacked by mall vendors trying to sell hand cream from the Dead Sea. Apparently, this happens all the time.
Friday I was able to see the Devil wears Prada with Laurie C Missy Adam David and Ellen, college friends. The movie was pretty good, despite the fact that we had to wait in Applebees for two hours because I have a serious inability to plan anything lately.
Saturday, I finally saw Matt. We spent the best weekend I've had in a long time together. The weather was warm, New Ulm is beautiful, and best of all, it was with him. I guess I sound pretty pathetic when I say I miss him already and it hasn't even been a day since I've seen him last. The worst part is that I started to cry when I left-how embarassing. Except for that part, I had a great time, and I can't wait to see him again, even though it will be at least three weeks from now. Fortunately this period of long distance will end, and it isn't so bad now anyway. At least he tries to see me...
I only regret not spending more time with my own family this weekend. It isn't a very big regret, either. Mom seemed sad that I was not coming home, but I think she understood. I will see them in a week and a half if not in a few days anyway. Cassie's wedding is so close-it suprised me how fast it came. That means that over half of the summer is over, a bittersweet idea. Summer will be over, but I will get to see more of my friends and more of Matt again.
Now I just need to figure out how to get by in an airport... yeesh.. wish me luck!
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Religion
Even though school has ended and I do not have the awesome Hope bus to take me to church every sunday, I continue to go most Sundays. This time, I go with Mike's family, who I am living with for the duration of the summer. They are evangelical protestants, from what I've observed, and it seems that most of Forest Lake feels the same way. During the past month I have visited two churches.
The first church Mike's family has gone to for what seems like forever, compared to my church-going background. The first service, I stepped in and there seemed to be an old hippie waving a flag while a band played on the stage. yes. stage. At least there was a center isle... After beginning church, and singing a few christian songs, the (pastor?) started preaching about Mother's day and asked all the women in the congregation to meet him in front of the church. At this point I was wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. Being very conservative in religious matters, I did not stand and walk to the front... I think there were maybe four or five other girls who did the same as I. Needless to say, it was creepy. Then to make it worse, the man asked all the men to stand around the women and put their hands up and pray. Inside, I screamed. Once all these shenanigans were through the man then started yelling and ranting about how women and men should stay married- no matter what- and stated that women cannot nurture children properly unless accompanied by a husband. Not only is this untrue, it insulted me and ruined any respect I could have for that man. One example: if a man is beating or verbally abusing his wife- how the fuck can a woman nurture a child in that environment?!? This is a perfect example of how certain criminals of society were raised. In the preacher man's eyes-geez can I even call him such a term- the woman should stay married to the man and nurture the child in this environment. I believe that God, in this case, would want the woman to leave the man and take the kid with her. There are very well and good reasons for divorce today and I certainly believe that children can be brought up without a father- dead or divorced. I was subjected to another service in this church two weeks later. Even though it was not creepy, the man tiraded yet another sermon and further unimpressed me.
Today, I went to a different church. Mike's family have been "shopping around" for a new church- I do not question why. This one, Eaglebrook, they seem to like. There are police escorts directing traffic into the parking lot of the church, which is good... safe... and it made me excited to see why all of these people would come to this church. Eaglebrook boasts at least four services per weekend and a church that cannot hold all of its members. Again, I was excited to see why all these people would come to such a church. Walking inside, I thought it looked like a hotel lobby, but not being one to judge a book for its cover- I withheld judgement until the service started.
It started out more like a rock concert than anything. Whatever happened to worship songs?!? People don't seem to know the difference between Christian rock and worship songs. Worship songs are hymnals- as unexciting as they may be, and psalms- directly from THE BIBLE. Speaking of the Bible- there weren't any in this church. What kind of church doesn't have Bibles?? Seriously. How could this be credible? There was no scripture read, no hymns sung, and the worst part was that the congregational area was designed like an auditorium. There was a stage and no aisle. It almost seemed as if we went to see a church rock show with guest speaker- that is exactly what it was. It was even broadcasted to another church! There were also several positive things that may or may not have suprised me. The quantity of people was incredible. If people wish to gather like that to hear the word of God, it is perfectly fine by me. Just don't call it church. Also, the (pastor?) ahem.. "speaker" was excellent. I almost wish he spoke at the first church- then I would go. And ignore the hippie.
After the service at Eaglebrook I was given a tour by Mike of what else the church has to offer. I was suprised- shocked. There is a "kids zone" and an arcade. An arcade! Why?? There was also a book store and coffee shop. Eaglebrook no longer seemed like a hotel lobby, it seemed more like a plaza center. I was about to ask where the public pool was when we left (haha kidding).
Please don't take these views offensively, because that is exactly what they are- my views. I guess you could view this as a disclaimer or a warning that traditional churches are dying and I yearn for them, the lessons they taught, and values they instilled.
Back in the day, the Bible was the most important thing in a church- it seems that they have driven themselves far from that value.
Maybe I should just convert to Catholicism. Ironically those churches seem to keep the closest to teaching directly from the Bible. At least the few churhces that I've been to.
The first church Mike's family has gone to for what seems like forever, compared to my church-going background. The first service, I stepped in and there seemed to be an old hippie waving a flag while a band played on the stage. yes. stage. At least there was a center isle... After beginning church, and singing a few christian songs, the (pastor?) started preaching about Mother's day and asked all the women in the congregation to meet him in front of the church. At this point I was wondering what the hell I had gotten myself into. Being very conservative in religious matters, I did not stand and walk to the front... I think there were maybe four or five other girls who did the same as I. Needless to say, it was creepy. Then to make it worse, the man asked all the men to stand around the women and put their hands up and pray. Inside, I screamed. Once all these shenanigans were through the man then started yelling and ranting about how women and men should stay married- no matter what- and stated that women cannot nurture children properly unless accompanied by a husband. Not only is this untrue, it insulted me and ruined any respect I could have for that man. One example: if a man is beating or verbally abusing his wife- how the fuck can a woman nurture a child in that environment?!? This is a perfect example of how certain criminals of society were raised. In the preacher man's eyes-geez can I even call him such a term- the woman should stay married to the man and nurture the child in this environment. I believe that God, in this case, would want the woman to leave the man and take the kid with her. There are very well and good reasons for divorce today and I certainly believe that children can be brought up without a father- dead or divorced. I was subjected to another service in this church two weeks later. Even though it was not creepy, the man tiraded yet another sermon and further unimpressed me.
Today, I went to a different church. Mike's family have been "shopping around" for a new church- I do not question why. This one, Eaglebrook, they seem to like. There are police escorts directing traffic into the parking lot of the church, which is good... safe... and it made me excited to see why all of these people would come to this church. Eaglebrook boasts at least four services per weekend and a church that cannot hold all of its members. Again, I was excited to see why all these people would come to such a church. Walking inside, I thought it looked like a hotel lobby, but not being one to judge a book for its cover- I withheld judgement until the service started.
It started out more like a rock concert than anything. Whatever happened to worship songs?!? People don't seem to know the difference between Christian rock and worship songs. Worship songs are hymnals- as unexciting as they may be, and psalms- directly from THE BIBLE. Speaking of the Bible- there weren't any in this church. What kind of church doesn't have Bibles?? Seriously. How could this be credible? There was no scripture read, no hymns sung, and the worst part was that the congregational area was designed like an auditorium. There was a stage and no aisle. It almost seemed as if we went to see a church rock show with guest speaker- that is exactly what it was. It was even broadcasted to another church! There were also several positive things that may or may not have suprised me. The quantity of people was incredible. If people wish to gather like that to hear the word of God, it is perfectly fine by me. Just don't call it church. Also, the (pastor?) ahem.. "speaker" was excellent. I almost wish he spoke at the first church- then I would go. And ignore the hippie.
After the service at Eaglebrook I was given a tour by Mike of what else the church has to offer. I was suprised- shocked. There is a "kids zone" and an arcade. An arcade! Why?? There was also a book store and coffee shop. Eaglebrook no longer seemed like a hotel lobby, it seemed more like a plaza center. I was about to ask where the public pool was when we left (haha kidding).
Please don't take these views offensively, because that is exactly what they are- my views. I guess you could view this as a disclaimer or a warning that traditional churches are dying and I yearn for them, the lessons they taught, and values they instilled.
Back in the day, the Bible was the most important thing in a church- it seems that they have driven themselves far from that value.
Maybe I should just convert to Catholicism. Ironically those churches seem to keep the closest to teaching directly from the Bible. At least the few churhces that I've been to.
Friday, May 12, 2006
Its over!
Freshman year at the University of Minnesota is officially over! I can 't believe how much has changed since last September. I've met so many people and I think I've matured a little along the way.
Matt leaves today, I leave tomorrow. After this, its very probable that it will be over a month before I see him again. After three failed attempts in long distance relationships, this doesn't look promising- except that the seperation ENDS! This and the fact that three months can pass faster than one would think, especially if the said months are in the summer, make me realize that we can do this, and it (hopefully) won't be as terrible as it sounds.
He is meeting the family in a month, at Fred's grad party. I feel bad, I'm springing most of my extended family, my brother, and Hibbing on him at the same time. Good thing he is really easy-going, I just hope he still likes me when its all over :E
I've also learned a lot. Wow, imagine going to college and learning a few things! I'm really going to miss everyone here- all the people on my floor are like one big family. Next year though, we will still be in the same vicinity, which will be different, yet the same. I'm rooming with the same girl next year, I'm really happy I got such a great roomate. Seeing some of the people on the floor that I could have ended up with, I realize that my roomate and I are probably the best match for each other.
I start work on Monday, I move into Mike's house tomorrow. I am really excited for both adventures, but I don't know what time I start working on Monday yet...
I will for sure keep you updated on my adventures over the summer, there is bound to be quite a few-
until then!
Matt leaves today, I leave tomorrow. After this, its very probable that it will be over a month before I see him again. After three failed attempts in long distance relationships, this doesn't look promising- except that the seperation ENDS! This and the fact that three months can pass faster than one would think, especially if the said months are in the summer, make me realize that we can do this, and it (hopefully) won't be as terrible as it sounds.
He is meeting the family in a month, at Fred's grad party. I feel bad, I'm springing most of my extended family, my brother, and Hibbing on him at the same time. Good thing he is really easy-going, I just hope he still likes me when its all over :E
I've also learned a lot. Wow, imagine going to college and learning a few things! I'm really going to miss everyone here- all the people on my floor are like one big family. Next year though, we will still be in the same vicinity, which will be different, yet the same. I'm rooming with the same girl next year, I'm really happy I got such a great roomate. Seeing some of the people on the floor that I could have ended up with, I realize that my roomate and I are probably the best match for each other.
I start work on Monday, I move into Mike's house tomorrow. I am really excited for both adventures, but I don't know what time I start working on Monday yet...
I will for sure keep you updated on my adventures over the summer, there is bound to be quite a few-
until then!
Monday, May 01, 2006
Weekend in New Ulm
Last weekend I met Matt's (the boyfriend's) parents, and spent a day and a half in New Ulm, where he grew up. You know that nervous/excited feeling that you get before a large exam, performance, or presentation? Imagine having three times this feeling (I also had two large exams) for a week. Not a pleasant experience, I assure you.
I hypothesized that one way to calm this feeling is to forget about it. Fortunately for me, there happened to be an "awkward 90's dance" on the floor Friday night. (Unfortunately, this meant I had to deal with the nasty butterflies in my stomach for most of the week). The dance itself was very fun, albeit awkward (I live on a floor made up of entirely guys in technology majors), and helped me to forget about the next morning. Hypothesis proven true. And bonus! I got to yank men off the wall to dance with me. haha.
Saturday, I woke a good hour before my roomate and was even able to watch cartoons in the lounge before Matt came looking for me. I don't remember the last time I've seen Saturday morning cartoons.
After meeting Matt's Uncle and a pleasant two-hour drive (it's wonderful compared to my drive home-which is twice as far), we arrived in New Ulm and I met his parents. I believe meeting his parents went well, although I will probably never know for sure. There was an uncomfortable moment on Sunday morning when my greatest fear for the weekend nearly came true- they asked me to attend church with them. Why would I be afraid of this? Church is church, right? To understand my fear, you would have to understand that Matt's family is Catholic, he grew up raised strictly Catholic, went to a Catholic private school, and I would have stood out like a sore thumb, being Presbyterian. I know his family knows that I'm not Catholic, and they are okay with it, however it still bothers me that I'll never really live up to their standards because of my faith.
After meeting his family and another Uncle, I was granted the pleasure of meeting his brother and later, his sister. His entire family seemed very welcoming and pleasant- but then again so is my cat until she bites you. Hopefully, I made a good impression and the feelings were genuine. They did seem to want to see me again...
Matt took me on a drive around New Ulm and I saw some pretty awesome things- a State Park, a brewery, a mall much like Hibbing's (although built nicer), his high school, the Kraft and 3M factories, mini golf course, and the downtown area. Overall- a nice drive and tour of New Ulm. Then we went to dinner and by chance met one of his Aunts and cousins and his Grandma. Later, we picked up one of Matt's friends and we went to the casino. This being my first trip to a casino, and considering the past few days, it might be an understatement to say I was a bit overwhelmed by all of the people and blinking lights in the casino. After stumbling about like an idiot for about an hour, I finally settled down at a nickel slot and won about two dollars. Unfortunately, I didn't cash out and just played the two dollars- but it was worth it. There really is something magical about spinning numbers and pictures.
After our casino trip- Matt won about 18 dollars- we drove back to his friends house and played the second best playstation game I've ever played- Parappa the Rapper. What is really nice about it, is that it is something I could actually beat in a day. Giant plus.
Sunday, I was taken to lunch with his family, and we drove home.
Overall, I hope the weekend was successful. And by hope, I mean believe.
On a darker note, there are only two weeks left of school- this means finals. Of course, I'm not ready- who really is? Hopefully within the next two weeks I will manage to remember all I've learned over this past semester. Hopefully.
I hypothesized that one way to calm this feeling is to forget about it. Fortunately for me, there happened to be an "awkward 90's dance" on the floor Friday night. (Unfortunately, this meant I had to deal with the nasty butterflies in my stomach for most of the week). The dance itself was very fun, albeit awkward (I live on a floor made up of entirely guys in technology majors), and helped me to forget about the next morning. Hypothesis proven true. And bonus! I got to yank men off the wall to dance with me. haha.
Saturday, I woke a good hour before my roomate and was even able to watch cartoons in the lounge before Matt came looking for me. I don't remember the last time I've seen Saturday morning cartoons.
After meeting Matt's Uncle and a pleasant two-hour drive (it's wonderful compared to my drive home-which is twice as far), we arrived in New Ulm and I met his parents. I believe meeting his parents went well, although I will probably never know for sure. There was an uncomfortable moment on Sunday morning when my greatest fear for the weekend nearly came true- they asked me to attend church with them. Why would I be afraid of this? Church is church, right? To understand my fear, you would have to understand that Matt's family is Catholic, he grew up raised strictly Catholic, went to a Catholic private school, and I would have stood out like a sore thumb, being Presbyterian. I know his family knows that I'm not Catholic, and they are okay with it, however it still bothers me that I'll never really live up to their standards because of my faith.
After meeting his family and another Uncle, I was granted the pleasure of meeting his brother and later, his sister. His entire family seemed very welcoming and pleasant- but then again so is my cat until she bites you. Hopefully, I made a good impression and the feelings were genuine. They did seem to want to see me again...
Matt took me on a drive around New Ulm and I saw some pretty awesome things- a State Park, a brewery, a mall much like Hibbing's (although built nicer), his high school, the Kraft and 3M factories, mini golf course, and the downtown area. Overall- a nice drive and tour of New Ulm. Then we went to dinner and by chance met one of his Aunts and cousins and his Grandma. Later, we picked up one of Matt's friends and we went to the casino. This being my first trip to a casino, and considering the past few days, it might be an understatement to say I was a bit overwhelmed by all of the people and blinking lights in the casino. After stumbling about like an idiot for about an hour, I finally settled down at a nickel slot and won about two dollars. Unfortunately, I didn't cash out and just played the two dollars- but it was worth it. There really is something magical about spinning numbers and pictures.
After our casino trip- Matt won about 18 dollars- we drove back to his friends house and played the second best playstation game I've ever played- Parappa the Rapper. What is really nice about it, is that it is something I could actually beat in a day. Giant plus.
Sunday, I was taken to lunch with his family, and we drove home.
Overall, I hope the weekend was successful. And by hope, I mean believe.
On a darker note, there are only two weeks left of school- this means finals. Of course, I'm not ready- who really is? Hopefully within the next two weeks I will manage to remember all I've learned over this past semester. Hopefully.
Monday, April 10, 2006
high on life
As the title suggests, I am extremely high on life right now. Things have been going right for me, for once. I received a job offer for the internship in White Bear Lake- and I will be living with Mike over the summer. So not only do I have a well paying job for this summer, I also get to live with a good friend and his family for cheap. I am also giving a poster presentation for my research with Professor Stein in a few weeks, and I already have the poster finished. I planned on emailing a very rough draft of my poster to him this past weekend, but apparently he liked it so much that he changed very little, and even complimented me on my work. I am also going with Matt, my boyfriend, to New Ulm to meet his family and to see the city in which he grew up. Just for kicks. I am really excited about this, albeit a little nervous. I'll start pacing in a week or so...
I love Matt- he's amazing. no questions about it.
It is also spring. finally. officially. It's been "warm" all winter long, but there is very little snow left, if any, and the grass and trees are green. greener than when I came here in September. Its gorgeous outside- people are laying on the lawns doing homework (I will probably join them soon)- and the sun is out. Its warm enough to be comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, my usual ensemble, which is perfect weather- as far as I'm concerned.
I may see a Twins game on Wednesday, meaning I need to complete my homework for the week by tonight. Fortunately, my homework is mostly completed- especially since this poster is out of the way now.
So as you can see, not a lot is wrong right now- this may change, especially once I start my physics homework, but with the current weather and lack of poster work- I doubt it will get me down for long.
Unfortunately, I have recently realized that I will be unable to see my friends or family much over the summer, and I am not sure I will be able to attend my cousin's wedding in July. I hope that I can- even if I am only able to be there for the weekend. On the upside of things, I don't have to return to the pithole known as Hibbing. I will be visiting home often anyway, I'm sure.
What can I say, God is good to me :)
I love Matt- he's amazing. no questions about it.
It is also spring. finally. officially. It's been "warm" all winter long, but there is very little snow left, if any, and the grass and trees are green. greener than when I came here in September. Its gorgeous outside- people are laying on the lawns doing homework (I will probably join them soon)- and the sun is out. Its warm enough to be comfortable in a t-shirt and jeans, my usual ensemble, which is perfect weather- as far as I'm concerned.
I may see a Twins game on Wednesday, meaning I need to complete my homework for the week by tonight. Fortunately, my homework is mostly completed- especially since this poster is out of the way now.
So as you can see, not a lot is wrong right now- this may change, especially once I start my physics homework, but with the current weather and lack of poster work- I doubt it will get me down for long.
Unfortunately, I have recently realized that I will be unable to see my friends or family much over the summer, and I am not sure I will be able to attend my cousin's wedding in July. I hope that I can- even if I am only able to be there for the weekend. On the upside of things, I don't have to return to the pithole known as Hibbing. I will be visiting home often anyway, I'm sure.
What can I say, God is good to me :)
Sunday, March 12, 2006
need.sleep.
Spring Break has just started. I didn't really want to leave the cities, but the dorms were creepily silent and I was happy to leave eventually. I do feel bad for the two guys there that I know are staying for the week by themselves.
The semester has been going suprisingly well. The movie project has come to a close, for the most part anyway. We still need to finish editing the beast and promote its ass. I'm in charge of getting the officers together and organizing a meeting concerning these issues. Also- I think we should have a party. something non-stressful. therefore, Mike can't plan it. lol.
Life has gone on as usual. I've become a little sleep deprived, but that is nothing new to me, and it's expected; considering my course load and the fact that I am, in fact, in college. By definition, I must be sleep deprived.
Today, I got to ride a taxi for the first time in a loooong time. It was pretty exhilarating. Thank you Laurie!! After I rode with her to the airport (our destination), there was a mob of women and girls waiting for the lightrail being coached on how to ride the light rail, the glories of the light rail, and how the world was going to end if they didn't get off at nicollet. I wondered if the women in the group (aduld women that seemed pretty capable of riding a train by themselves) could have handled it without the lesson on the light rail. I did think it was a little cute though.
The laboratory work I am doing is going suprisingly well. I am learning a lot, and much of it involves graduate level chemistry concepts. Hopefully this will help me in the long run...
I also got an interview for an internship in White Bear Lake!! I reeeaaallly hope this goes. Then I won't have to come back here for the summer. I also applied for a full time research job at the U over the summer- with Professor Stein. I guess I also have a good chance of getting that too. I just hope I dont have to come back here. But I also don't want to find somewhere to live. Difficult decisions...
I've only been in Hibbing for about 12 hours and I am already bored out of my mind. I can't believe how much Minneapolis grows on you until you come back only to be alienated from your hometown. I guess it would have helped a little if I had come back between now and winter break...
Northern Minnesota is like another place altogether from the city. Instead of never seeing a tree, you never see a home. Even the power lines are different (obv). However, it is home- even though I seem to have two now. Not that I can't cope. I don't grow attached to my surroundings really. Just give me somewhere to eat and sleep and do my homework- I'll make do with the rest.
It is getting late, however, and my lack of sleep is catching up with me...
The semester has been going suprisingly well. The movie project has come to a close, for the most part anyway. We still need to finish editing the beast and promote its ass. I'm in charge of getting the officers together and organizing a meeting concerning these issues. Also- I think we should have a party. something non-stressful. therefore, Mike can't plan it. lol.
Life has gone on as usual. I've become a little sleep deprived, but that is nothing new to me, and it's expected; considering my course load and the fact that I am, in fact, in college. By definition, I must be sleep deprived.
Today, I got to ride a taxi for the first time in a loooong time. It was pretty exhilarating. Thank you Laurie!! After I rode with her to the airport (our destination), there was a mob of women and girls waiting for the lightrail being coached on how to ride the light rail, the glories of the light rail, and how the world was going to end if they didn't get off at nicollet. I wondered if the women in the group (aduld women that seemed pretty capable of riding a train by themselves) could have handled it without the lesson on the light rail. I did think it was a little cute though.
The laboratory work I am doing is going suprisingly well. I am learning a lot, and much of it involves graduate level chemistry concepts. Hopefully this will help me in the long run...
I also got an interview for an internship in White Bear Lake!! I reeeaaallly hope this goes. Then I won't have to come back here for the summer. I also applied for a full time research job at the U over the summer- with Professor Stein. I guess I also have a good chance of getting that too. I just hope I dont have to come back here. But I also don't want to find somewhere to live. Difficult decisions...
I've only been in Hibbing for about 12 hours and I am already bored out of my mind. I can't believe how much Minneapolis grows on you until you come back only to be alienated from your hometown. I guess it would have helped a little if I had come back between now and winter break...
Northern Minnesota is like another place altogether from the city. Instead of never seeing a tree, you never see a home. Even the power lines are different (obv). However, it is home- even though I seem to have two now. Not that I can't cope. I don't grow attached to my surroundings really. Just give me somewhere to eat and sleep and do my homework- I'll make do with the rest.
It is getting late, however, and my lack of sleep is catching up with me...
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
Saturday, February 18, 2006
want a free video ipod?
I guess this is actually legitimate.
http://www.YourFreeVideoiPods.com/index.php?ref=1671219
try it if you feel adventurous. A friend of mine said that you don't get any spam from it, I guess we'll see.
http://www.YourFreeVideoiPods.com/index.php?ref=1671219
try it if you feel adventurous. A friend of mine said that you don't get any spam from it, I guess we'll see.
A trip to Chucky Cheese
Last night a group of friends and I took a field trip to the abode of a certain Chuck E. Cheese. It was the first time that I had ever been there, and it was an experience worth remembering. Besides the fact that its tailored to the 8 and under age category, the games there were suprisingly fun.
Upon entering the place, we were greeted with the loud laughter of children and the smell of greasy pizza. Hungry as all hell, the group of us sat down, well aware that we were at least ten years older than most of the people there. While waiting for pizza, My friend Boof and I experimented with the video cameras that they had set up near the eating place. You could zoom in on anyone in the room and whatever you saw would come up on the big screen. Finally, our pizza came so boof and I stopped tormenting our friends by zooming in on their faces so the little kids in the room could watch them talk. That, and there was a little girls birthday party on the table next to us and they were starting to arrive. While eating our delicious greasy pizza, the 'show' started to come to life- there was a huge robot Chuck E. Cheese and he danced, kinda, and music started to play. As all of this happened, we watched the little girls dance and some guy go in the back room. A few minutes later, Chuck E. Cheese came out of the same door! I can't believe that no one has figured that one out yet. I thought little kids were smarter than that. Anyway, once the 'show' was over, they sang "Happy Birthday" to the little girl, and of course we joined in. I bet she got the serenade of her life. After everything, Chuck E Cheese walked back in the 'magic door' and out came that dude. i think Adam asked him if he was Chuck E Cheese, and he nodded. He also had a nametag that said something like 'cheesemeister' or something. whatever.
Once we were finished with our pizza, we meandered upstairs to the world of arcade games and proceeded to get screwed over on all the games, because that's what arcade games do. We did end up with 905 tickets though (after pooling them all together) which was pretty sweet. We all got these cheap bracelets and rubber lizards. Unfortunately, the bracelets only fit the girls. haha.
Overall, I had a great time. It was a great idea, especially after taking a math test of death earlier in the day. Unfortunately now, I need to do a crapload of homework. Yay for college.
Upon entering the place, we were greeted with the loud laughter of children and the smell of greasy pizza. Hungry as all hell, the group of us sat down, well aware that we were at least ten years older than most of the people there. While waiting for pizza, My friend Boof and I experimented with the video cameras that they had set up near the eating place. You could zoom in on anyone in the room and whatever you saw would come up on the big screen. Finally, our pizza came so boof and I stopped tormenting our friends by zooming in on their faces so the little kids in the room could watch them talk. That, and there was a little girls birthday party on the table next to us and they were starting to arrive. While eating our delicious greasy pizza, the 'show' started to come to life- there was a huge robot Chuck E. Cheese and he danced, kinda, and music started to play. As all of this happened, we watched the little girls dance and some guy go in the back room. A few minutes later, Chuck E. Cheese came out of the same door! I can't believe that no one has figured that one out yet. I thought little kids were smarter than that. Anyway, once the 'show' was over, they sang "Happy Birthday" to the little girl, and of course we joined in. I bet she got the serenade of her life. After everything, Chuck E Cheese walked back in the 'magic door' and out came that dude. i think Adam asked him if he was Chuck E Cheese, and he nodded. He also had a nametag that said something like 'cheesemeister' or something. whatever.
Once we were finished with our pizza, we meandered upstairs to the world of arcade games and proceeded to get screwed over on all the games, because that's what arcade games do. We did end up with 905 tickets though (after pooling them all together) which was pretty sweet. We all got these cheap bracelets and rubber lizards. Unfortunately, the bracelets only fit the girls. haha.
Overall, I had a great time. It was a great idea, especially after taking a math test of death earlier in the day. Unfortunately now, I need to do a crapload of homework. Yay for college.
Sunday, January 29, 2006
Juice Beloved
During the last semester, I have created... or developed... an obession with a juice flavor that I have only found in the University cafeterias. It goes by the name of Apple Berry. There is a certain fruity sensation that when it hits, it cannot be replicated unless you take another drink. Its like marijuana for juice lovers. Since my first moment of apple berry-ness, I have had two other flavors of juice from the University cafeterias and these moments in time were due to a deficiency of apple berry juice in the juice fountain.
This morning, at our beautiful Dining Service, I was subjected to a fate far worse than lack of apple berry.
(pause for dramatic effect)
there were no glasses.
OMG! what kind of lame cafeteria does not have glasses?? couldnt the dishwashers see that there were absolutely no glasses next to the beloved apple berry?? I couldn't believe my eyes. In an act of desperation, I grabbed a coffee mug and filled it full of apple berry. I would not be denied!
In order to understand the atrocity of the situation, one must first understand this. The effective volume of a coffee mug is about half that of a juice glass. this is due to the fact that a coffee mug is used to hold hot things, and one cannot drink something that warm quickly enough for it to retain its temperature to warrant a much larger size. Due to this engineering feat, I could only have half a glass of apple berry this morning. Also- genius that I am, i managed to wedge myself in between two tables with people at them so that I could sit with my friends as I ate my hard bagel and cold soggy french toast. Therefore, I was unable to return to the juice machines to refill my coffee mug with apple berry.
This is a sad day.
This morning, at our beautiful Dining Service, I was subjected to a fate far worse than lack of apple berry.
(pause for dramatic effect)
there were no glasses.
OMG! what kind of lame cafeteria does not have glasses?? couldnt the dishwashers see that there were absolutely no glasses next to the beloved apple berry?? I couldn't believe my eyes. In an act of desperation, I grabbed a coffee mug and filled it full of apple berry. I would not be denied!
In order to understand the atrocity of the situation, one must first understand this. The effective volume of a coffee mug is about half that of a juice glass. this is due to the fact that a coffee mug is used to hold hot things, and one cannot drink something that warm quickly enough for it to retain its temperature to warrant a much larger size. Due to this engineering feat, I could only have half a glass of apple berry this morning. Also- genius that I am, i managed to wedge myself in between two tables with people at them so that I could sit with my friends as I ate my hard bagel and cold soggy french toast. Therefore, I was unable to return to the juice machines to refill my coffee mug with apple berry.
This is a sad day.
Saturday, January 28, 2006
....and we're back!
Finally recovering from the previous stupidity at the HCC dorms, Im back at college! I've been meeting a few people and I guess I even have a date for tomorrow night. That is one thing I really don't like about the way I act (okay there is a lot) but in this respect, I bounce back from relationships really quickly. I'm not a mope-around kind of girl. I guess.
Even still, I'm not totally positive I should be moving on this quickly. I mean, Jon and I were pretty serious- more serious than I've ever known. Then again, after seeing him over break, I'm positive that anything romantic is over for now. He is a great guy, and a great friend. I need to move on. Its not fair to let that color any judgement I have of any future guy.
Here's the catch, however- my past two relationships have been long distance. that's two out of three serious relationships I've had. Now- I'm in college- nobody lives in Hibbing! Its really a great thing- I hate Hibbing. But, when I look toward what might happen I just cringe inside because its going to end up long distance. It could be worse, however, I mean- it will only be long distance over the summer and maybe not even then- if all my hopes come true for this summer I wont have to go back I will get an internship here and never leave. So I'm basically scaring myself away from the prospect of a relationship just because I got screwed over in the past and theres a chance that its going to happen again.
Fuck it all- I'm through with thinking this shit out. I'll keep telling myself that and maybe one day I will. haha.
Besides my thoughts on men, College is great! I am so happy to be back here- the activity is back, homework (eww) is not too terrible as of yet, Im a lab monkey for credit, and I'm making new friends everyday.
The movie project is coming along- because I can't remember if I posted about it before I'm going to now (probably not haha). Mike started a student group here on campus that is suprisingly well-organized and productive. He asked me to be an officer and I agreed, telling him at the time that I would have little to no time to be such. He assured me that it was for administrative purposes and I could put as little or as much time into his group as I would like. Apparently his version of 'as little' is every weekend at his house. I know he's disappointed that I can't spend as much time as he would like on this project, and I'm disappointed in myself too. When I do something, I put every effort into it. Unfortunately my every effort can't be expended into two things at once. He also thinks that I dont like working on this. I'm not sure where he got that idea. In fact, he found most of this out because I told his roomate in confidence who then informed Mike. In his defence, I didnt say 'dont tell mike' but I guessed it was kind-of assumed. Not that I wasnt going to tell Mike- I just generally like to do it myself- not through another. Mostly because few people understand (okay make that zero) how I think or what I'm doing and why. Generally if someone hears something I said, it has been my experience that about 70% of the time it is either not what I meant or completely wrong. Therefore I figure some of that probability played into the fact that Mike now believes I'm depressed or something and hate everyone. so untrue.
I've been spending a bit of time with friends as well. well, when I'm not studying that is. I've come to appreciate the down time and it has actually worked to my benefit as a person to have this downtime. Its a well-known fact that I am not a nice person when stressed. The fact that I have this occasional down time makes me guilty, however. as if I should be doing something movie-related but I'm not. Guilt is not a great feeling. I dont understand why everyone else gets to have this downtime though, and not feel guilty about it.
Thursday I went to campus crusades again. I remember why I went. God has touched my life in so many ways since college started- I can't even describe the joy I have once I leave crusades or hope. Unfortunately, I havent been feeling crusades recently- too much flamboyant-ness. I, personally, worship God in a quiet-like manner. I love singing, however. The speaker last week made me angry as well. He basically told all of the students that they were not doing enough in God's name and that we were all lazy. and better than everyone else. I believe he has spoken before too- he offended me then too. he (im pretty sure it was him- anyway its happened on more than one occasion) said something to the effect "I was a good person- i went to church every Sunday with my parents..." Okay- what does this say? those that dont go to church regularily are not good people?? this means that I'm a bad person as well as my family and most of my closest friends. I was very offended, even though I knew that this statement was not meant for this context. I just hope that this man does not speak too much in the future otherwise I'm not sure I will be attending crusades much longer.
Its three thirty in the morning and I need sleep-
Take it easy!
Even still, I'm not totally positive I should be moving on this quickly. I mean, Jon and I were pretty serious- more serious than I've ever known. Then again, after seeing him over break, I'm positive that anything romantic is over for now. He is a great guy, and a great friend. I need to move on. Its not fair to let that color any judgement I have of any future guy.
Here's the catch, however- my past two relationships have been long distance. that's two out of three serious relationships I've had. Now- I'm in college- nobody lives in Hibbing! Its really a great thing- I hate Hibbing. But, when I look toward what might happen I just cringe inside because its going to end up long distance. It could be worse, however, I mean- it will only be long distance over the summer and maybe not even then- if all my hopes come true for this summer I wont have to go back I will get an internship here and never leave. So I'm basically scaring myself away from the prospect of a relationship just because I got screwed over in the past and theres a chance that its going to happen again.
Fuck it all- I'm through with thinking this shit out. I'll keep telling myself that and maybe one day I will. haha.
Besides my thoughts on men, College is great! I am so happy to be back here- the activity is back, homework (eww) is not too terrible as of yet, Im a lab monkey for credit, and I'm making new friends everyday.
The movie project is coming along- because I can't remember if I posted about it before I'm going to now (probably not haha). Mike started a student group here on campus that is suprisingly well-organized and productive. He asked me to be an officer and I agreed, telling him at the time that I would have little to no time to be such. He assured me that it was for administrative purposes and I could put as little or as much time into his group as I would like. Apparently his version of 'as little' is every weekend at his house. I know he's disappointed that I can't spend as much time as he would like on this project, and I'm disappointed in myself too. When I do something, I put every effort into it. Unfortunately my every effort can't be expended into two things at once. He also thinks that I dont like working on this. I'm not sure where he got that idea. In fact, he found most of this out because I told his roomate in confidence who then informed Mike. In his defence, I didnt say 'dont tell mike' but I guessed it was kind-of assumed. Not that I wasnt going to tell Mike- I just generally like to do it myself- not through another. Mostly because few people understand (okay make that zero) how I think or what I'm doing and why. Generally if someone hears something I said, it has been my experience that about 70% of the time it is either not what I meant or completely wrong. Therefore I figure some of that probability played into the fact that Mike now believes I'm depressed or something and hate everyone. so untrue.
I've been spending a bit of time with friends as well. well, when I'm not studying that is. I've come to appreciate the down time and it has actually worked to my benefit as a person to have this downtime. Its a well-known fact that I am not a nice person when stressed. The fact that I have this occasional down time makes me guilty, however. as if I should be doing something movie-related but I'm not. Guilt is not a great feeling. I dont understand why everyone else gets to have this downtime though, and not feel guilty about it.
Thursday I went to campus crusades again. I remember why I went. God has touched my life in so many ways since college started- I can't even describe the joy I have once I leave crusades or hope. Unfortunately, I havent been feeling crusades recently- too much flamboyant-ness. I, personally, worship God in a quiet-like manner. I love singing, however. The speaker last week made me angry as well. He basically told all of the students that they were not doing enough in God's name and that we were all lazy. and better than everyone else. I believe he has spoken before too- he offended me then too. he (im pretty sure it was him- anyway its happened on more than one occasion) said something to the effect "I was a good person- i went to church every Sunday with my parents..." Okay- what does this say? those that dont go to church regularily are not good people?? this means that I'm a bad person as well as my family and most of my closest friends. I was very offended, even though I knew that this statement was not meant for this context. I just hope that this man does not speak too much in the future otherwise I'm not sure I will be attending crusades much longer.
Its three thirty in the morning and I need sleep-
Take it easy!
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