Mind Rambles

This semester has gone by way too fast.
I mean, I'm going to be so so happy to be finally finished with organic, (except that silly lab), but I'm not going to be so happy when Matt moves to Iowa. Gee, this all sounds SO familiar.
He also wonders why I cry sometimes when he talks about it.
Yeah, I'm not in the worst circumstance, I know. And again, if you are reading this and are suffering from a worse circumstance than I, I just don't want to hear it right now. It will just make me feel worse. I also realize that this is very selfish of me on several levels.
I should be happy for him, shouldn't I? I shouldn't let my experiences with Jon color my judgment. This will all end in three months, I can make it that long. Three things I keep telling myself. They seem to help less and less each time I hear them.
Don't get me wrong. I am happy for him. Ecstatic. He is so amazing and totally deserves this job, not to mention its something he might actually want to do. The fact that its in Iowa shouldn't matter, but it does somehow. One bright side to things: I've never actually been to Iowa. Jon and I parted ways before I ever got a chance to see him at ISU, and I haven't really had an inclination to go since. Thinking of Jon, its been too long since I've seen him, I would like to keep him as a friend.
I just hope to be working my ass off so that I barely have time to sleep/eat much less relax and think about him. Several good things will come of this- I will have lots of money, and I won't think about him. Speaking of money, having some would be nice right now.
Why is it that everything all happens at once?
Life seems like a sine wave with a long period. There's ups and downs, but once you get through them, there is a period of slow stability that you use to get over what just happened.
Yes. I am a nerd.
This weekend was a complete nerd-fest for me, which is always a good thing imho. Relay for Life was kind of a life-changing event, and I got to get to know some people that I haven't had time to speak with. The luminaria ceremony almost made me cry, which used to say something, until Matt turned me into a blubbering idiot. I think others crying makes me cry the most, it hurts me to see others in pain. Weird trait of mine, I guess.
Next night was the IT ball, which was also a jar of fun. I like getting dressed up, it kind of reminds me that I can actually be kind of pretty once in a while. I'm also glad that my roommate came, I'll admit I would probably have been lonely without my best friend there.
Today I went to church, its been a while. I really felt it when I came back, even if it was a catholic mass. Somehow, I always feel like I'm not really accepted there. I know I am, and even the Priest would probably tell me I am. Its just a weird feeling that isn't going to escape me, no matter how many masses I go to. I still hold that its better than the reborn Christian theme that seems to permeate the protestant services. At least the ones I've been to. C says her church is not that bad, maybe this summer we can go together.
I understand people like the reborn Christian services. Somehow singing Christian pop ballads doesn't constitute a service song for me. It seems more like something you would sing by yourself in your car. And it doesn't make me feel any closer to Jesus singing it. If that's your style, by all means go for it, and don't let anyone stop you. I just ask the same respect. If you are reading this and are offended, chances are you know me- talk to me in person and we can discuss this further.
Another thing I am looking forward to at the close of this semester (besides lack of organic, of course) is the amazing summer I'm going to spend with my three roommates (for next fall), and all of the people I have yet to meet.