Halloween!!

Hello, Today is Halloween. I just returned from an exciting day of "trick-or-canning" which is basically like trick-or-treating but you collect non-perishable food items for a local food shelf. I went with SWE and it was pretty fun and for a good cause. I decided SWE is a pretty cool place to be, despite my initial reaction to it which was not so great.
I've developed a new way to keep happy. I've discovered that if I wake up and decide that the day will be a good day, it actually turns out okay. I'm still working on the whole optomistic thing, its a new experience. Unfortunately, the adverse of this also works and if you wake up and believe that it will be a crappy day the day will in fact be crappy. This does not work every time however, good or bad. I'm still working on it.
In fact, I've been suprisingly happy the past few days. Amazing.

My brother and I here in Minneapolis

mole day!

Today is mole day, for those of you Hibbing-ites that had Neary for Chemistry or any other nerd out there that knows what I'm speaking about. Thinking back on it makes me sad or contemplative. This used to be a big holiday for us Science Nerds... I think I remember one year even baking for it. This also reminds me that the Institute of Technology is probably the best place for me. Either that or the psych ward of the hospital...
My brother visited this weekend, it was very enjoyable. I believe that he had fun, we got to do a lot and we were able to see a lot of each other, more so than usual. At home we barely speak. He wants to become a professional drummer and would like to go to a Music Tech in St. Paul next year. I wish him good luck but at the same time I dont want him to get in. This is because I want him to live a long successful life and going into the arts is so subjective. For one thing there is the whole 'starving artist/musician/actor(ess)' syndrome. I do not want that with my brother. Im afraid of the outcome of what he wants to do. To base so much of your life on how other people view yourself is a scary thing to do. Thats one of the many reasons I didnt go into modeling.. haha. and there is no possible way of knowing how successful you will be. my career choice is a little more stable, if less lucrative. this comforts me: knowing that if I manage to graduate from college, I will most likely have a job somewhere, there will be interviews, there will be offers, it will be more formal but it will be nicely laid out for me too. Music: not so much.
One comforting thought through all of this, is that my brother is that talented, he will be able to make it provided that he is discovered. This is also why my thoughts on the subject confuse me as well: I have no doubt he can make it in a music career, but I worry just the same. I guess that is what a sister is for.

gloom

Throughout the past week, I have been a complete moron. I realize that that is not the best opening line of something people would ever want to read, but I guess it could grab ones attention. It pretty much started on monday, where I had to present my physics lab. Being that I pretty much suck at physics in general already, the whole lab experience was not the greatest. And I had to stand and talk about something I had no clue on. Oh yeah, public speaking is definetely a bane of mine. I'm lucky if I don't shake after talking for thirty seconds. Fast forward to Wednesday night because nothing happened except school. (literally, that's all I do now) I finally had everything finished, I even studied for a midterm the next morning. My friend came over just as I was finishing up (at two am) and I helped him with physics (um... ok i understood last week's homework. that's it.). long story short, I woke up the next morning at seven when he left (no we didnt do anything!). I also fell back asleep and woke up at 10:30. Oh yeah, my midterm was at nine. My roomate and I literally freaked out, and went to class. I entered calculus as he was passing out the quizzes for the week, and I managed to talk to the professor of the class I missed the test in. She let us take it the next day. Thank God for nice profs.
Friday I went dancing with this one guy in my ballroom dancing class. We went to the Quest for salsa night and it was a generally bad experience. He informed me that he 'found me very attractive' and wanted to go on a date. He told me that my hair was 'incredibly beautiful'. I flat out told him that hes too short (he's a good 5'5" compared with my 5'8" so not too short but short enough). Later in the evening he started conversations about sex, making out, what I like in men, etc. and oh yeah, he's 24 and not even a student at the U of MN (which I did not realize at the time). (btw.. i'm 18.) CREEPY.
Why DO guys suck? and where are the good ones? and why can't I go out with them?
Relationship drama.... again.
I'm just going to lay off dating in general for a while. Mostly because men suck.
Okay, yesterday (saturday) I went to the gophers game (eeewwww.... hold onto the stupid football!!!) and I saw my friend sing in a concert. He's in chamber singers (the highest choir here and hes a freshman) and it was generally awesome. Then we all went out for noodles and company and ben and jerry's. After all of this, Im sorry you had to sit through that and read it, but life can only get better now, right? and I guess its your fault for reading this :)
Alanis Morissette has been my favorite artist for the past day and a half. I guess I recognize female empowerment and a general anger at the world around me as main feelings I've had lately, therefore her music is perfect. Favorite songs include: Forgiven, Right through you, Uninvited, You oughta know, Head over heels, you learn, and ironic. This is the mood I've been in. I guess all things considered, its not suprising.

Going Home

This weekend, I was picked up by my father following my Friday afternoon chemistry lab. While driving home, we had long conversation which was greatly overdue and appreciated by myself. He mentioned that I was the first Kiesel from his side of the family to go to a four year university directly after high school. I was astounded at first, I've never realized this fact, I have always taken it for granted that I would never be the 'first' to accomplish anything, I have so many cousins. Especially something this important.
I finally got home on Friday and hugged mom. About an hour later, I was bored to shreds. I've been so used to doing things nonstop that I live at 100mph now. This is so different from before when I could stare at the wall for an entire day and feel as if I could do it again the next.
Saturday night, after being spoiled by my parents, I went to see a movie with a few of my friends. I drove to my friend's house, which in itself was an enjoyable experience, considering I haven't driven in a month or so. I miss my car.
From my friend's house we took off to Virginia and saw the movie (I will never miss those forsaken uncomfortable seats) and afterwards, I decided to lean out the window of the car and scream at other cars. I guess I'm still snapped.
Realizing my hyper state and what it takes to calm me down, my friend suggested a ride. We ended up at the lake near his house, with no lights for miles. I saw ... stars! The milky way even! I couldn't believe it, I memorized the image and now I think of it when I am sad, which is all too often lately.
Afterwards we took a drive to wal-mart: the hang out spot of everyone in Hibbing. I'm not sure I miss that place either. We did set off an entire rack of Barbie guitars, which was slightly amusing. After, I found Trav's new apartment and kitten.
Sunday I came back here to a life of chaos, but at least I had a well-deserved break from it all, and I look forward to the next.

Midterm, a definition of Evil Death.

Okay, the whole concept of a 'midterm' is starting to confuse me. Let's look at the word itself:
'mid-' is a prefix. it must be French for EVIL. Either that or implies 'middle' or 'median'
'-term' is a suffix. it is also French for DEATH. In English, however, a 'term' implies a period of time. like a semester.
So my question is, why are we taking our MIDTERMS now? We've been here for five weeks. Another interesting question is why there are more than one per class...
It must be French.