I've not been myself lately. I think its because my self-esteem has plunged to a new low in several areas of my life. But then again I've never been very confident.
It's just been another 'bleh' week, apparently.
I guess I need to shake some fears before I get on with my life, because they are currently consuming me. I need to shake the fears and the self-pity, because that's taking me absolutely nowhere.
Someone to talk to that is genuinely interested in what I have to say would be nice. I think I ask too much, I'm not all that interesting. I also complain way too much. Also, most guys get really freaked out if girls start sobbing on them. And I'm also really moody.
At least this time its not as bad or as plentifully wrong as the events of this past summer. So, "Buck up little soldier" and I think its time for bed.
I dunno, maybe pray for me so that I can get fixed what has now broken.
Tuesday, February 26, 2008
Monday, February 18, 2008
VD awareness
Yay for Valentine's day festivities. While most people went out, I spent the night studying- along with probably the rest of my Chem E class... No fear, Matt and I spent the next day "celebrating".
We had a good night- I mean, free New York strips can't be too terrible, right? And seriously, our dinner was $2.00 because I got lemonade instead of water, thanks to the gift certificates that I had acquired through my parents.
The rest of the night was spent playing the new Monopoly game that I got him (onyx edition! classy) and then crying all over him. I'm not going to go into details here.
He gave me a really sweet T-shirt, it has a train on the front and it says "I choo choo choose you". It's probably my new favorite shirt.
The next day was spent studying/grocery shopping and at an Awkward dance that one of my good friends planned. Afterwards, we all went over to Matt's apartment and watched one of his roommates play video games under the influence (it was his 21st birthday). Albeit hilarious, I felt that the night would have been more amusing watching him walk around, which was also entertaining when he did. I got a little more drunk than I intended, there is a weird phenomenon where I can't seem to tell how inebriated I am when I'm sitting, which I found last night. I also realize that I am somewhat of a cheap drunk-after 2 drinks I was wasted. I'll contribute that to my turtle-like metabolism (thanks for that one, parents). Strangely, again I woke up without hangover after having done nothing to prevent such an occurance.
As long as I was entertaining, I really don't care too much, I guess.
We had a good night- I mean, free New York strips can't be too terrible, right? And seriously, our dinner was $2.00 because I got lemonade instead of water, thanks to the gift certificates that I had acquired through my parents.
The rest of the night was spent playing the new Monopoly game that I got him (onyx edition! classy) and then crying all over him. I'm not going to go into details here.
He gave me a really sweet T-shirt, it has a train on the front and it says "I choo choo choose you". It's probably my new favorite shirt.
The next day was spent studying/grocery shopping and at an Awkward dance that one of my good friends planned. Afterwards, we all went over to Matt's apartment and watched one of his roommates play video games under the influence (it was his 21st birthday). Albeit hilarious, I felt that the night would have been more amusing watching him walk around, which was also entertaining when he did. I got a little more drunk than I intended, there is a weird phenomenon where I can't seem to tell how inebriated I am when I'm sitting, which I found last night. I also realize that I am somewhat of a cheap drunk-after 2 drinks I was wasted. I'll contribute that to my turtle-like metabolism (thanks for that one, parents). Strangely, again I woke up without hangover after having done nothing to prevent such an occurance.
As long as I was entertaining, I really don't care too much, I guess.
Saturday, February 02, 2008
First Full Week
Back at it again-school. Surprisingly, the workload seems much more reasonable than last semester. But because I just said (well, typed) that its going to get bad, fast. So far, here is a brief rundown of the classes that I have:
Numerical Methods- pretty much Matlab for the sake of doing Matlab. So far pretty easy, but considering that I'm terrible with computers, once we get through the mind-boggling easy stuff we're going through right now (think doing gaussian elimination on matrices by hand), it will get more difficult.
Reactor Design- It's been told to me that Professor McCormick has eye lasers, but is too nice to use them. I heartily agree, and also believe that he can send them over email. As for the actual class, once we're done reviewing a combination of reaction kinetics and thermodynamics, the class will be much more difficult- but it's not easy to begin with. ick.
Mass Transport- a.k.a. diffusion, transport 2. Pretty much transport phenomena. again. I really like Professor Dautidis, crazy Greek.
Analytical Chemistry- the lecture section of this class is very boring, but the professor makes it oddly interesting. I am not looking forward to lab starting in this class, however. I've heard horror stories of 20 page lab reports and all-nighters.
Drawing- If I didn't suck at drawing and was a little less impatient, then I would absolutely love this class. Right now, I look forward to doing the homework, and hate doing it about halfway through it. Great stress reliever, however, and I feel kinda special carrying my huge portfolio across campus every Tuesday evening.
Research- Has not started yet really, and that is totally my fault. I need to finish the book Hari gave me to read before I start, I've had it a week. In my defense, its a huge book and is really really boring. Like a textbook. The actual experimentation stuff sounds great, can't wait to start, but I can wait to finish the book.
Okay, so that's the rundown of the semester to be. I also hope to be more involved in SWE and AIChE, but we'll see how that turns out. Its so hard for me to go to those events knowing that I will not really know anyone else at them. Also- as for SWE meetings, I swear they take copies of my calendar so they can know the most inconvenient time to have a meeting for me and plan it then. the last meeting I was actually able to attend. This also equaled my meeting attendance for the entire Fall semester. I also need to go to church more often than I have been.
I really want to give Matt his Valentine's Day present. Mostly because then I will be able to enjoy it too.
I am also totally bummed NoDak beat us in hockey last night. I'm watching tonight via television- hopefully tonight's game will be different. Also attended a glorious bash at a friend's house last night, which was fun beyond description. I learned that talent in guitar hero = exp(-Blood Alcohol concentration). I am also freakishly without hangover despite my lack of water drinking last night.
Numerical Methods- pretty much Matlab for the sake of doing Matlab. So far pretty easy, but considering that I'm terrible with computers, once we get through the mind-boggling easy stuff we're going through right now (think doing gaussian elimination on matrices by hand), it will get more difficult.
Reactor Design- It's been told to me that Professor McCormick has eye lasers, but is too nice to use them. I heartily agree, and also believe that he can send them over email. As for the actual class, once we're done reviewing a combination of reaction kinetics and thermodynamics, the class will be much more difficult- but it's not easy to begin with. ick.
Mass Transport- a.k.a. diffusion, transport 2. Pretty much transport phenomena. again. I really like Professor Dautidis, crazy Greek.
Analytical Chemistry- the lecture section of this class is very boring, but the professor makes it oddly interesting. I am not looking forward to lab starting in this class, however. I've heard horror stories of 20 page lab reports and all-nighters.
Drawing- If I didn't suck at drawing and was a little less impatient, then I would absolutely love this class. Right now, I look forward to doing the homework, and hate doing it about halfway through it. Great stress reliever, however, and I feel kinda special carrying my huge portfolio across campus every Tuesday evening.
Research- Has not started yet really, and that is totally my fault. I need to finish the book Hari gave me to read before I start, I've had it a week. In my defense, its a huge book and is really really boring. Like a textbook. The actual experimentation stuff sounds great, can't wait to start, but I can wait to finish the book.
Okay, so that's the rundown of the semester to be. I also hope to be more involved in SWE and AIChE, but we'll see how that turns out. Its so hard for me to go to those events knowing that I will not really know anyone else at them. Also- as for SWE meetings, I swear they take copies of my calendar so they can know the most inconvenient time to have a meeting for me and plan it then. the last meeting I was actually able to attend. This also equaled my meeting attendance for the entire Fall semester. I also need to go to church more often than I have been.
I really want to give Matt his Valentine's Day present. Mostly because then I will be able to enjoy it too.
I am also totally bummed NoDak beat us in hockey last night. I'm watching tonight via television- hopefully tonight's game will be different. Also attended a glorious bash at a friend's house last night, which was fun beyond description. I learned that talent in guitar hero = exp(-Blood Alcohol concentration). I am also freakishly without hangover despite my lack of water drinking last night.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)