Yeah, its been a while. I just do not have time. I barely sleep anymore.
I think Matt is starting to get frustrated that I don't spend any time with him. Now that things should be winding down, maybe I'll get to make things up to him.
Then again, looking at what I have to get done (and am currently procrastinating) maybe I'll just set up a microwave by my computer so that I don't have to take the time out of my day to physically get up and eat.
I can't believe I signed myself up for this. I think for the first time in my life I might not accomplish everything that I set out to do with the stunning success that I've experienced in the past without a lot of pain on my part. Balancing has gotten tough this year. I won't say I hate my life, but its starting to turn that way.
I'm glad things are starting to look better from this summer. Maybe I can be less moody and stressed now. I wish I could remember a time that my outlook on my life wasn't so shitty, but I can't.
angst..angst..angst..
I realize that I'm not the only one going through all this crap right now, but it's hard for me to believe that everyone is experiencing the same amount of work that I have when I go over to a certain apartment and everyone is playing zelda.
Not like I never play video games, it just seems that I don't get to do fun things like that as often as everyone else does. But maybe that's just the fact that the grass always looks greener on the other side. Or maybe I'm starting to classify sleep as something fun to do instead of a necessity.
I'm always tired. and I'm always in need of a hug.
I should see a psych. My OCD is getting worse. a lot worse. scary worse. I couldn't concentrate on a midterm in my class because I had a completely unfounded obsession that my car was getting towed. I did fine on the midterm, despite the anxiety, but its something I would rather live without. Maybe once my stress level drops below non-scary levels the OCD-ness will subside. For fuck's sake I'm color coordinating my apple jacks in the morning.
maybe I'll update with a happier note later, right now I just don't feel like it.
